Thank You for All You Do!!!

If you know me, you know I believe that each of us on earth has a purpose that is in some way related to serving our family members, neighbors, and fellow earthy inhabitors. Sometimes when I think about it, it seems ridiculous, even to me. I mean, there are so many people!  And each one has a purpose?  But, of course, it is true. And for each time you answer your call to serve, I want to say, "Thank You!" (I hope this video will play for you.)

Today I was honored to witness a group of musicians serving others by sharing their incredible talents. The members of the Lambertville Brass Band performed a concert at a nursing home/senior center for an audience comprised mostly of the elderly and their caregivers. As the mother of a trombonist, this type of venue wasn't new, and so I sat there enjoying the moment with the audience. As the songs ticked by I began to ponder the service these musicians were performing on a beautiful Sunday afternoon when they could have been anywhere. They were here. That seemed extraordinary, even as it was the norm for this group. Then something happened that was neither overly amazing or earth-shattering, but it was transformative just the same. The band played a conglomeration of older tunes, and when the song, "Daisy, Daisy" came on, the audience, jolted into the moment by memories, began to sing along. It was beautiful!  It was touching! It was so amazing in fact, that just after the chorus ended and the band began playing the next tune in the combined piece, the conductor gave the signal to stop. The music came to a halt and he turned to the audience and clapped for them, elderly men and women, mostly in wheelchairs, all of them unaware of how much they had just served the conductor and his band. The conductor proclaimed, "That was so beautiful, I want to hear it again!" He promptly led the band in repeating that part of their music so that the audience could sing along, louder this time, feeling every note and enjoying the trip to memories of happy times. 

Who was serving whom? That beautiful moment was possible because those folks in the Lambertville Brass Band were willing to serve. This all-volunteer band, full of amazingly talented individuals, affected people today and brought joy to the hearts and souls of a room full of amazing human beings. Could they have been anywhere else? Yep. But they weren't. They were available to serve their elders and those who care for them, and in the end, I think they may have been the ones served when their music touched hearts and created a combined effort of happiness. 

We are all called to serve. The way we are called and the audience we are led to is different, not only for each of us, but also in varying ways at different stages of our lives. How are you called to serve today? What talent do you possess that you share with the world? Better yet, how can your family or your classroom full of students serve others? In Connections Across the Student Desk, I challenge the reader to find a way to share their unique gifts that fits "naturally" with their groove. I go on to point out that I used "naturally", not "comfortably" on purpose. 

When we serve others, we need to do so in a way that fits into our way of living. For example, I am the first to say that my family will never be in a position to volunteer financial service.  It is not a natural way for us to serve because we rarely have extra money to donate to others. Luckily, financial service comes naturally to others, so my family can instead donate our time and love of children, music, coaching, whatever. This doesn't mean that we are always comfortable in our service. Service can be challenging, and that is OK. It is a stretching of our comfort and a strain on what we would be doing if we weren't serving. I would bet that any one of those musicians today would have loved to have had that time in their gardens, watching a ball game, hanging out with friends, etc...but they were instead sharing their natural talents, and in turn, their joy, with those in attendance. That is a gift!  That is service! That is what we are all called to find our way to do. 

Need ideas or more encouragement? Check out Connections Across the Student Desk, available on:

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Thank you for reading!

Usain Bolt and the Lens of Ability

This quote, which hangs on the doors of our public library, came to mind in light of a recent conversation I had with a close friend. Our conversation was not about reading at all, but about being "able".  It stemmed from the linguistic understanding of disability as the opposite of ability and our shared agreement that there is a tremendous difference between having a disability vs. inability; and the difference between having an ability and being able. 

Why does it matter? I wasn't sure it did, until I started seriously pondering. That is when I realized I needed to share my thoughts with you. As per my nature, I like the lens of optimism and positivity. So, I started to think about some of my favorite people who are said to have "disabilities", and how I like to look at them from a different angle, the angle of abilities. Think about it. What if we were all seen from the lens of what we CANNOT do? 

An example: I love to run, that's no secret. But, put me up against Usain Bolt and my running "disability" will be highlighted tremendously. I can run, just not as fast as Usain. He's incredible on the track! But what if he were asked to do something that he's not great at? For this argument, let's say playing violin. If judged in that regard, his disability would be noticeable. When people are considered great at something, we don't tend to define them by what they cannot do. We define them by their ability; what they CAN do. You and I, most of us, are defined by what we CAN do. What we can't do, such as run at 27.78 miles per hour, does not usually factor in. 

Still, so often we do get stuck in what we can't do. We define others through this lens as well. What a defeating way to view our world! What would happen if we all adopted an ability mindset instead? When is the last time you took inventory of what you are able to do? What are your abilities? Go ahead, write down at least ten. I'll wait....

Now, when did you last appreciate those abilities of yours? Do you always act on them? I mean, on my list of ten abilities, I wrote that I think I can write in a way that helps others. Then I realized that I had not been on here consistently writing for others in quite some time. I have the ability, but I wasn't making the time to be able. What more am I capable of doing that I neglect to prioritize or even worse, deliberately stifle? 

A final thought: In my opening paragraph I noted that the initial discussion which led to this post centered around the fact that, "there is a tremendous difference between having an ability and being able." This brings me to the other piece that is haunting me in all of this. Consider Usain Bolt again. Someone found him and guided him to improve his ability. His story goes that he was playing soccer, and it was suggested that he consider sprinting. Watching Usain Bolt share his ability is like watching an incredible artform magically take shape. What if no one paid attention to notice the gift he had to share with the world? What if he wasn't able to be seen for any of the various reasons some of our students remain invisible? Poverty, housing insecurity, language barriers, academic struggles, etc...

How many kids are out there not being noticed for their abilities? Those abilities, if left untapped, will just disappear. Each child, each person we encounter has unique abilities. As parents and teachers let's find the abilities held by each child and student and exploit those abilities, guide them, and build them up. Let's pay special attention to those students who might hold an ability, but not the means to be able to perfect it on their own. Strive to be the means by which those you love are able to share their abilities with the world!

If you like what you read, please share my post and consider reading more of my thoughts and ideas in Connections Across the Student Desk, available on Amazon. Here is the link: Connections Across the Student Desk

For more work from amazing authors, podcasters and human beings, visit the X-Factor EDU Community.  Here is that link: X-Factor EDU

*(Quote from 1914, though often attributed to Mark Twain in 1945, the original author is not certified.)

Pam, Pennies and Purpose

I am a strong believer in the power of purpose. Feeling we have purpose brings a sense of value and belonging to everything we do. Purpose helps us to know we are where we are meant to be and opens our hearts to fully sharing ourselves with those around us. Our culture has decided that certain traits and characteristics hold value, and therefore provide purpose, while others do not. If our culture consistently got this right, this wouldn't be a problem. But instead, our culture gets pieces of this horribly wrong, and some of our children and adults suffer from a lack of feeling purposeful and valued because of that.

Think for a moment...if our culture were to put price tags on various traits, which traits would hold the heftiest tickets? I don't plan to answer this for you, but I will put a few traits on the docket to get you started, and I will suggest using price tags ranging from $10 to $1,000 to help you with your ranking. Remember, this is society's perception. It might be fun to make a separate ranking of your own perceptions of these traits as well.

☑ attitude

☑ age

☑ honesty

☑ athleticism

☑ appearance

☑ integrity

☑ monetary wealth

It would be difficult to find people that agree in their societal monetary determinations of the traits listed above. The answers and possibilities are determined by our perceptions and are as varied as the readers of this post. That's OK. Agreement is not the point. Societal value of personal characteristics is subjective and situational. (Just ask any comedian who now gets paid to do exactly what caused them to repeatedly get into trouble in grade school.) This is why it is so important that we, as the adults in the lives of children, help the children we love to find, see, understand, accept and internalize their personal purpose and value. 

As is my way, my mind goes to the ordinary and mundane to make a point. Let's take a look at cooking spray and the penny. 

Cooking Spray:  When my children were small and we would visit our friends, my children enjoyed the huge (to them at the time) hill that sloped up and away from the back of the house. That hill was used for running, rolling, and generally expending energy. One of their favorite activities on that hill was to slide down the hill in the Bilibo. The Bilibo was basically a bowl that was large enough for a child to sit in. The Bilibo was fun, sliding down the hill in the Bilibo was fun, but nothing beat when our friend would take out the aerosol can of cooking spray to coat the bottom of the vessel to bring it to warp speed! A little spritz of cooking spray and my children were flying down that hill with giggles increased exponentially. Our friend took a common everyday household staple and changed its purpose to create incredible fun. 

• 
  Item purpose is not one-dimensional. Neither is yours! In every situation your purpose will be defined and redefined by you and those around you. It feels terrible when you haven't yet found your purpose, and so your perception of your worth and value decreases. BUT, you don't know the perceptions of others!  And maybe, just maybe, you are fulfilling a purpose that goes beyond your awareness. Take a moment to consider the places in your life where you feel the least amount of connection to your purpose. Once you get that thought, now think like my friend, and look beyond the obvious. You may be fulfilling a purpose beyond your imagination!

A Pile of Pennies: My sister went to Tahiti for her honeymoon and left her parakeet with me for safekeeping. During its three-week stint in my dorm room at Trenton State College, that bird proved it was cut out for college life by being up all night. A few days in, my roommate and I gathered pennies to have near our beds. When the bird would wake us up with its chirping, a swift fling of a penny dinging the cage bars would quiet it for some time before it would begin again. This alternative to going outside and opening the cage door was a relationship saver. A simple pile of pennies, the very coin whose purpose is in question, served to stop the bird's chirping and keep our sanity. 

• 
  Sometimes purpose is subtle like that. Sometimes we are called just to be present to alleviate something that would otherwise cause tension, unhappiness or strife. We are that sharp "ding" of the bars that jolts someone back into kindness or compassion or much needed silence in a situation that would be fueled by verbalized adversity. We feel we are doing nothing and offering no purpose when in fact, we are the reason everyone is at peace.

Every human being holds value and worth beyond our understanding or any societal ranking. We may never know the purposes we hold beyond our own perceptions and awarenesses. Knowing that we hold purpose and value beyond our understanding insists that we have self-love and a faith that we are meant to be. Society does not assign your purpose, value or worth. Your very existence does!  You are meant to be! The children you love are meant to be! Don't let a day go by without remembering that and reminding others.

If you like what you read, please share my post and consider reading more of my thoughts and ideas in Connections Across the Student Desk, available on Amazon. Here is the link: Connections Across the Student Desk

For more work from amazing authors, podcasters and human beings, visit the X-Factor EDU Community.  Here is that link: X-Factor EDU

Make Space for PEACE

What brings you peace? Or rather what when eliminated, provides you space for peace? The days leading up to the Winter holidays leave little room for peace. Our culture tells us to be busy, shop, send cards, bake cookies, prepare food, and attend events all while trying to enjoy the people we love and feel the "peace" of the season. When I decided to wash our Peace sign, which hangs all year on our window, it came out of the dryer looking like a crumpled reminder. It was a word scramble, a mere memory of what it was intended to convey. That was exactly how I was feeling at that moment, to be honest; as if peace had no place in my life to spread out, relax, and ease my mind and heart. My son does most of our decorating in and around the house, and when he spread the sign across the window again, that's when it hit me. We have to give PEACE a place to spread out and display itself. It can't fit where we don't allow it. And, it's too gentle to force its way in. 

My hope for you today and in the days ahead is that you will find a way to make space for PEACE in your life and the lives of those around you. Perhaps you need to add something such as time to read inspirational writings or to walk in your neighborhood. But maybe you need to eliminate something, such as a grudge you've been holding, anger that lingers, or time browsing how other people display their lives on social media. Whatever your path, no one else can clear the way for PEACE to find you. Peace calls us gently, and intimately. It will not force its way in, and when it arrives, you will need to be deliberate about keeping its place sacred.  Today and all year long, I wish you PEACE!

Curiosity: It's Not Just for Kids

As I scroll through education related social media feeds, I am amazed at the amount of conferences, workshops and learning opportunities available to teachers throughout the country. On any given day, a variety of experiences are being shared, usually by other educators, to help us hone our curriculum delivery, behavior management, self-care, etc... Lately as I look over the repertoire advertised, I have come to sit in wonder at how we will spend time and money to go listen to other educators when we have educational professionals just down the hall, up a flight of stairs, or in the room next door. Why do we not explore and make good use of this free daily opportunity to be curious, gain knowledge and learn new tricks of the trade from those we know.

As educators we come together in school to share time and talent, and yet we squander the opportunities set before us each day. I am a ridiculous contemplator and as such I often challenge myself by asking, "Do I give each of these amazing people who share this year's journey with me everything I have to offer? Do I lend an ear when needed? Do I give a smile every chance I have? Do I ask for their help, their opinions and their advice? Do I keep myself open to learn from them? Heck, do I even know the names of the over 70 people who are housed in this building with me on a daily basis?"

School is a home that we share with these other adults, 

and yet we know so little about them..

With this in mind, I have made a commitment to myself. I will attempt to make connections and learn from these professionals I see every day. As a self-aware introvert, I have trained myself to make the effort to know every name of those teaching in the building with me. Some days are crazy, and so if someone starts mid-year it may take me a few days to ask for their name, but even if that is the case, I still commit the time to meet them and let them know I am here for them. As for others who have been in the building with me for years, I make it a point to say hello and smile when I see them, and when it's been a while since I've seen them, I say as much to let them know I noticed. 

Here's the thing that bothers me though. While I know everyone's name and expertise, I have not visited most classrooms, and for that I hold out a personal challenge for the rest of this year. So often classrooms are demoted to a level similar to dorm rooms in college. We only visit the ones that house those with whom we work closely, or those from whom we need to borrow something. If we follow the dorm-room example, our supervisors and administrative staff are the Resident Advisors who come in to check things out. They visit each room and get to know the feel of the environment. But why should this advantage and honor be limited to administration? Last week's faculty meeting was held in the classroom of one of my colleagues, and I sat there stealing ideas and taking notes on what I can do differently/better in my own classroom. Afterward I thought to myself how I work in a building where ideas are readily on display, and yet allow year after year to slip by without taking advantage of these amazing resources. How insanely wasteful!

At the end of June last year, a co-worker jokingly told another that the first day of school was only 12 weeks away. Meant to instill horror, for me it was a challenge. I had 12 weeks to figure out what I wanted to work on for the upcoming school year. Teaching is so amazing in that we get this natural pause during which we can reflect, regroup, reset and redirect. I always end up with an extensive list, much of which seems so easy when there is no school in session, and so impossible once the reality of a new year sets in. The main thing I decided I want to do better, and stating it here will hold me accountable, is that I want to consider how I can more deeply connect with my colleagues. 

My children have this odd behavior in which when we are out and about, they will look directly at someone from school without saying "hello" because, "Mom, that would be weird!" I say to them to imagine if they saw that same person while on a trip to a foreign country...no doubt they would be astonished to see that person and be compelled to say hello and share some information about what brought them both to this exact place and time. Why wait for extenuating circumstances to say hello and get to know one another? Exude kindness and familiarity daily with those who share this journey! These people are your family for the next several months of your life! It's an amazing honor to know and work with them in such an incredibly humble profession. Plus, they have so much to teach you, even if just by their example and a quick visit to their classroom.

One last thought because as I was writing this, I couldn't help but think that it's all about curiosity. So often we relinquish the temptation of curiosity, embarrassed that we have it, giving its power only to young children. We see young ones as inherently curious, and when we ourselves allow curiosity to take control, we think we are overstepping boundaries or acting less-than-adultlike. And so, I challenge you. Be curious! Ask about others! Acknowledge your commonalities that will help you to know one another more deeply. These are the little things that will help you to see past those items that tend to make us catty or gossip, which by the way are poison in a school building. Be curious. Be sincere. Be willing to create relationships and learn from your colleagues. Curiosity: It's Not Just for Kids!

Humility as a Cure for Humiliation

A recent conversation regarding a vocabulary word is the impetus for this post. I love words. I enjoy taking the time to choose just the right word. I like to learn new words, but I don't like to use uncommon words when I speak or write. I find doing so interferes with the enjoyable flow of a conversation or written passage. However, I do believe more complicated words have their rightful place as well. A friend of mine once laughed at the fact that I own a hard covered 1980's thesaurus. It's old and well worn. And it beats an internet search for a synonym or antonym any day of the week!  

All that to begin a post about "humility", the vocabulary word in question. When I introduce, and then we continue to practice with new vocabulary words, class discussions are the fuel for our learning fire. Typically after we have spent some time studying a list of words, students are asked to present one of the words to the class. They can use it in a sentence, draw a picture, give an example of a real-life event that illustrates the word, or simply use their own definition to tell the meaning of the word. This past Tuesday when I put humility on the board, it was because a particular student chose it as the word he wanted to present. This student chose "humility" precisely because he struggled to understand it's meaning. That was so awesome and apropos! And so we ran with it. It sat on the board and we talked. At first glance the student felt it had a negative connotation. With a little unearthing, the class determined he was confusing humility with humiliation. This prompted a discussion of humiliation, and students declaring instances of humiliation in their lives:

• being berated for not knowing what to do
• feeling "small" because we forgot our homework or laptop or ID card
• being told by peers we are not welcome at a lunch table that we worked up the courage to approach
• various things our parents do that make us feel like little kids instead of the budding young adults our middle school age indicates

After some serious discussion and some laughs at the many ways we tolerate and survive humiliation, we were back to humility. We talked about humility being the catalyst that can stop humiliation in its tracks. When we need to ask for the directions again and a teacher says, "It's OK, let me explain them to you a different way." or when we forgot our homework or laptop and the teacher says, "I get it, yesterday I forgot my phone at home", or "I forgot my laptop too!" Humility is the sense that I am not better than you, and you are not better than me, but we are both human! We both make mistakes. We both do some pretty amazing things too! Humility says you and I are on the same team regardless of our differences. Humility says, "I will follow the rules right along with you" or "I will sit next to you at the same desk or table, and we will work this out together." Humility says we are equals in terms of being worthy of respect, kindness and gentleness, even in the midst of our mistakes. Humility says you don't need to be afraid to say the wrong answer because you are safe choosing the word that is most difficult, so that together we can understand it better.

I have a feeling this particular group of kids has found a word to drive their intentions for the next few weeks or months. I plan to follow right alongside them. Not ahead, not behind, but arm in arm. I am humbled by their presence, by their bravery in learning and by their honesty in sharing. Together we will use humility to demolish humiliation. 

On Our Way to School, Part 3: Valuing Each Other, Changing the World Together!

When you consider your job, whether you are in education or not, what are aspects of your work system that you could not live without? Caffeine? Chocolate? That little heater under your desk in the winter? Various tools that make your job easier and keep you organized? The list is likely to be lengthy and would cover all the pieces that make your work and tasks manageable and maybe even enjoyable. 

For me, of all the possible aspects, the people with whom I work make the difference between failing and succeeding, between mundane and enjoyable, between arriving every day or needing to stay away. They are the central piece I cannot live without, and the anchor that grounds me on the daily. I am blessed to work in a building where people in various position are held in high regard. And perhaps it is just my perception, but I also believe I work in a place where each person is valued for their contributions made to the larger picture; whether from a place of perceived power and popularity, or from behind the scenes where names are only known by those in close contact. 

Last year I had the honor of leading our Sunshine Club, a voluntary club made up of anyone in the building who chooses to join. The club provides a means for us to be intentional about getting together to share time, encouraging one another and supporting the building goals. We celebrate babies born to staff and grieve with those who lost family members. Throughout the year we also focus our attention on different people and positions based on the calendar "holidays" such as "Boss's Day" and "Teacher Appreciation Week". Since I am not so great at knowing and remembering the various dates associated with celebrating positions, I regretfully but not surprisingly, missed our Nurse's Day, Support Staff Appreciation Day and Administrative Appreciation Day. (Good thing this is not an elected position! haha!) This meant we would be correcting my oversight in three consecutive weeks of celebration of these imperative positions. I tell you this because I was amazed that the enthusiasm with which folks dove into the first celebration did not waiver by the last. It was apparent that those who hold various positions in our building are valued for the talents they share and the love they exude, and folks were excited to celebrate them with fervor and appreciation. This is a blessing!

I think sometimes we attach value based on a price tag. Those who make the most money are considered more important than those who make the least. Other times we see value based on the most visual. Those who are seen and heard most often or loudest are considered more important than those who work behind the scenes. Then there are times where power denotes importance, and those in positions of authority are valued more than those who lead by silent example. I would dare to say that we each might hold a bit of entitlement in our hearts in terms of those with whom we do this awesome work. Afterall, it's their job, right? They're getting paid just like you and me, so of course they need to do their part. OK, maybe entitlement is too strong, but I do think that it is our human tendency to get comfortable with what we have. We adapt to our surroundings and expect to have what has always been. As the new school year approaches, it is a good time to turn that taking-for-granted into gratitude and appreciation. We should stand in wonder and awe at the amazing people who work together to change the world, and we should aspire to tell them how much they mean to us! When the building opens in for the new school year, every single position is necessary for our students to experience the full potential of our work. It's worth repeating so as to remember, we are changing lives, people! And there is not one of us that could do it alone! And there is not one of us who is not needed!

Think about it:

as powerful as it is, all the sun in the world can't grow a plant without soil and water

flames cook food but seasonings make it delectable

gas or electricity make a car move, but the nuts and bolts hold it together

Someone once called me the analogy queen, so I will stop there, but you get the idea. No one works in isolation when working in education. Everything that happens relies on a conglomeration and contrived convergence of parts and actions with explicit purposes toward the end goal. We need our teachers, yes. But we also need EVERY OTHER person working with our children!  Every single person has a purpose toward the goal of education. Do those with whom you spend your days changing the world know how much they are valued? Do you know how valuable you are? With two weeks to go on our way to school, consider ways that you show others their value, and ways other have shown you. We are about to jump in to do the most important work in our world! I want to jump in holding hands with those I will count on for the next ten months, letting them feel my positive vibe, helping them know they can count on me for anything, and letting them know the appreciation I hold for each one of them in my heart.

In case you missed:

On Our Way to School, Part 1: Creating Expectations

On Our Way to School, Part 2: Create Personal Habits Now