"Peace comes to a heart that makes space for it...

 ...it doesn't matter what shares that space. I am happy and at peace." (Past Journal Entry)

Wow!  Those were my words in a journal entry years ago. I like to go back and visit with my younger self...we sit, we talk, (though it is a one-sided conversation), her counseling me, telling me all about how she was feeling and what she was enjoying or enduring at that time.

Some might consider my journaling to be ridiculously abundant, oddly compulsive or overly emotive. I find it to be cathartic and comforting. 

At any time, I can have up to 5 journals in progress: 

my "Five Year Journal" that chronicles the lives of my children and me,

my "Wisdom and Reflection Journal" that contemplates life and offers insight

my "Daily Journal" that I will never share with you because I protect that one as a safe place to be brutally honest and open  

my "Reading Journal" where I agree and argue with authors, and

my "Peace and Prayer Journal" where I emanate gratitude for all I am blessed to enjoy in this life.

I find it to be interesting to read my journals at a later date, knowing that the feelings and events they hold and remember for me were fully lived, survived and successfully managed. I've decided it might be interesting to share some of my older journal entries with you so that you too might sit with younger me and gain insight and comfort reading her words. In many ways, Current Me believes that I've lost some of my wisdom in the tedium of life, so I look for it in the pages of Younger Me's journal. I suppose in my future, today's Current Me might have something to offer, but that is often difficult to believe in real-time.

With that in mind, welcome to this unedited "Wisdom and Reflection Journal" entry:

"It's a lines kind of day. Sometimes I don't know what I want to write. I marvel at the fact that in about ten minutes, something will have appeared on the page that 15 minutes prior I had no idea was even needing to be expressed.

"In so many ways, these are some really happy and peaceful times. And in many ways, they are not. I'd like to focus on how they are, but I keep getting interrupted with comments and questions-haha! But isn't that the key? Accepting all those distractions, interruptions, annoyances, setbacks, intrusions, as part of life and being in a place of peace anyway. I mean, anyone can feel peace laying alone on a clean blanket on an empty beach with no one and nothing to take your attention. But where's the glory in that? Where's the sense of accomplishment or victory? There is none. That peaceful moment was handed to you on a platter. Being at peace in the midst of real life? Now there's a challenge I can wrap my competitive edge around! That's the victory of preparing a full dinner for my family and their various boyfriends and guests while decompressing from school, driving kids here and there, feeding dogs and planning for tomorrow's school day. If I can pause in the middle of that and think, "My heart is happy and at peace." That is a true accomplishment.

"Peace comes to a heart that makes space for it. Doesn't matter what shares that space. I am happy and at Peace." 

I hope you enjoyed that glimpse into my journal and maybe gained inspiration that you can take with you as you move into the days ahead. To be honest, part of Current Me wants to strangle Younger Me and explain to her that when she gets older, her stress will take new forms such as a series of onslaughts on her physical health...haha!  But still, Younger Me had wisdom, and I could use some of the optimism she has to offer. I will be digging up some more entries if this seems to help people who come here to read, relax and find connection. Peace!

I'd love for you to share your thoughts, feelings or comments! You can write here, online, or email me at: School2HomeConnections@outlook.com

Enjoy reading what I write? Copies of my book, Connections Across the Student Desk, are available on Amazon: LINK HERE  or Barnes and Noble: LINK HERE

Wish I could come speak to your staff and colleagues? Give me the topic, I'll make it come alive! Contact me! School2HomeConnections@outlook.com

The Show Must Go On...We Must Let Go & Move On

This weekend I had the pleasure of attending my school's musical. I approach any event cognizant of all of the work that goes into making it happen. So often, we take for granted the product that is put in front of us without realizing, understanding, or appreciating all of the effort that went into producing it. Taking a group of middle school students and creating a production that everyone, not just the families of the participating students, would be lucky to enjoy is no small feat. I will not pretend to understand how the directors in a middle school production get from point A to point B. However, I do think we can assume they do not get there by holding on to things that are not working or things that are not necessary.

Prior to attending the musical, I was planting my springtime flowers and my summer vegetable garden. In doing so, I found myself pruning plants, taking off old flowers and dead leaves. Dead leaves on a plant, if left to linger, can cause the entire plant to suffer. This is so much like us! We carry things around physically, mentally and emotionally, even though they no longer serve us, only to watch the things that we care about wither away due to our lack of ability to tend to their needs.

And so I challenge you, just as the directors of the Middle School Musical must have done, to let go of those things that no longer serve you, your purpose, or your goals. This will look different for each one of us and it's not a one-and-done. The letting go of what no longer serves us is a lifelong endeavor and not always concrete. Perhaps it's our desire for things to stay the same. Or maybe we are holding onto grudges or anger or jealousy. Sometimes it's insufficient self-care due to the lack of ambition to take care of ourselves with healthy food, exercise or adequate sleep. The thing is, we get into patterns or habits, and we forget that we need to let go and move on. Let this post be your reminder; your catalyst. 

Now that my school's musical is over, the cast, crew and directors will take the memories and lessons with them. They will no doubt hold onto thoughts that will linger in their minds with a sense of accomplishment. They will leave behind however, the long hours of rehearsals and the tedium of memorization of lines and songs. They will move on to make room for the next goals they set for themselves and all the work and energy necessary to reach them. I challenge you to do the same for the show must go on and for that to happen, we must move on.

Want to share how you are letting go of what you no longer need? Leave a comment here, online, or email me at: School2HomeConnections@outlook.com

Enjoy reading what I write? Copies of my book, Connections Across the Student Desk, are available on Amazon: LINK HERE  or Barnes and Noble: LINK HERE

Wish I could come speak to your staff and colleagues? Give me the topic, I'll make it come alive! Contact me! School2HomeConnections@outlook.com

Adults Unite! You Are Not Alone!!!

With the school year entering its final stages, consider the year behind you. Think about your most challenging moments in the classroom if you're a teacher, or if you're a parent/guardian the most challenging moments with your child at home. Were there moments when you just couldn't get a handle on a situation? Episodes of feeling you weren't being heard? Respected? Effective? When they have needs that need to be met, children have an uncanny way of making us feel ineffective and inadequate. It's just part of their charm. But this post is not about children. 

Well, actually it's all about them by being about you and me, the adults in the life of children.

What I'm attempting to describe is the frustration we can feel as teachers or parents and guardians when we are functioning as a single adult in the life of a child. We have created a culture where everyone believes they have to function alone. We have in essence, divorced home from school, and school from home, and forgotten that children need us to work together.

I hear your thoughts as you're reading this:

"If I invite parents/guardians to help, they will walk all over me."

"They're the problem! Why would I try to work with them?"

"They're the professionals. They should be able to help my kid. That's what they get paid to do."

But I believe if we listen closer, we will hear a different story. One that is clothed in fears and insecurities:

"I'm afraid to call that parent/guardian. I've heard how they can be." (Give it a try! Maybe you can be the first one to help them feel that they are part of the team.)

"I'm not going to pick up the phone when I see the school calling. I never understand what they mean, and I always feel attacked. I'm not able to talk with them and feel confident that they will listen to what I'm saying." (Sure, they may be the educator, but you are the expert on your child and they need your input.)

"That parent/guardian is difficult. They believe their child does no wrong and will just blame me." (Try to call them seeking a solution, not to determine blame. Maybe you can be the one to build the relationship that will help their child succeed in school and beyond.)

"I'm working three jobs just to support my children and me. I cannot take calls during the day. The school will have to deal with it themselves." (Try to think of other ways to communicate with the school about your child. In this age of technology, we have e-mail, texting, or even the old-time paper and pen. Let's find a way that we can work together.)

There are a plethora of reasons home and school don't take the time to create the relationship necessary for student success. None of them are valid!  I know this sounds harsh, but it is irresponsible to deprive students of this imperative relationship. It doesn't have to be so difficult, scary, or perhaps the worst... indifferent. Students, all students, need to know the adults in their life are united to provide the support they need to succeed inside and outside of school. And you, the teachers and parents/guardians, need to know you are not alone! Your mutual respect, communication and support is available to you whenever you make the choice to build the connection for the benefit of the children who matter in your life. 

What tips can you share for making the most of the school to home connection? Please leave a comment here or where you found this post.

Want help navigating the school/home relationship? Leave a comment here or email me at: School2HomeConnections@outlook.com

Enjoy reading what I write? Copies of my book, Connections Across the Student Desk, are available on Amazon: LINK HERE  or Barnes and Noble: LINK HERE

Wish I could come speak to your staff and colleagues? Give me the topic, I'll make it come alive! Contact me! School2HomeConnections@outlook.com

Have I Told You Lately About Your Purpose?

Our school building is currently under restorative construction and so each morning when I arrive, I cross paths with various construction workers in the parking lot. We exchange morning pleasantries then enter the building at our respective entrances. Two occupations with differing purposes entering
the same building. A day of work ahead, both with the intention of creating, building on past successes, and making progress toward our goals. Assuming we each do our job well we will leave the same building at the end of the day having made a difference. We will have affected change and growth and made advances in our respective endeavors. The changes will be subtle, so much so that we will not even think about them, but if we hadn't shown up, the loss would be felt.

About twenty minutes after our arrival, the front doors open and about 600 middle school students enter the same building. They have yet another set of goals. Or do they? If you were to ask your students what their goal is when they enter the school building, what do you think they would say? I realize this answer will differ depending on the age of your students. As a middle school teacher, and the mother of a high school student, this question holds a lot of weight. 

Why does it matter? Let's think about it. Construction workers have their blueprints. They have very specific instructions to follow that will undoubtedly lead them closer and closer to achieving their final goal. Teachers follow lesson plans based on the scope and sequence of their curriculum to guide their instruction day after day, inform their classroom management and instill work habits to help their students grow. Though we may often feel as though we are constantly changing our direction to meet student needs, we really do have an end goal that we are aiming to achieve; work alongside parents to guide children in becoming decent human beings.

But what about our students' purpose? If our students don't know why they are showing up to school, if they don't have a purpose beyond compulsory education, can any of the rest of us entering that building really achieve our goals? Sure, the building will be restored, repaired, and improved. Certainly, lesson plans will be followed, curriculum spoken, and skills modeled. But how much does any of that matter if students don't know what it is they are trying to achieve beyond staying awake until the conclusion of the school day?

As is my way as I'm sharing my thoughts I often pause and go back to read what I have written, and wow those words seem dire. But there is hope and it is in your voice! Since you're here it's probably because you have kids in your life that are important to you. If you're a parent, you want what's best for your children, and you want them to grow into amazing adults. Have you told them that lately? Have you helped them chart the course to their future selves? If you're a teacher, you probably became a teacher because you thought that education was important, and you wanted to help affect the future of our world by teaching children. When is the last time you said as much to your students? 

Throughout this portion of this post I have been humming the song "Have I told you lately that I love you?" With the inundation of information and voices that our children have to endure, it is going to become more and more important for us to make sure our voices are heard by them loud and clear and often. They may be too young or too immature to understand the importance of school, but if we keep telling them that we believe it's important, that we believe their effort matters, and that we believe through hard work in school they can become an amazing human being, they will begin to believe it and find purpose in their school day. 

Enjoy reading what I write? Copies of my book, Connections Across the Student Desk, are available on Amazon: LINK HERE  or Barnes and Noble: LINK HERE

Wish I could come speak to your staff and colleagues? Give me the topic, I'll make it come alive! Contact me! maccaronicrew@outlook.com

Living in Constant Awe

The entertainment industry is littered with movies, books and vignettes of folks having a brush with death that wakes them up to the reality of life. But do we really need such a drastic event in order to live each day as though it is an amazing gift?

I have always been blessed with a penchant for finding awe. There's not much that is more mundane than a plain green leaf, yet as a kid I would look at a leaf through the car window and marvel at the fact that in the entire world, I was the only person seeing this leaf in this moment right now. Or I would look out toward the horizon and imagine all the happenings in the world right at this moment...someone is enduring the pain of lost life, someone is welcoming a new baby, someone is eating an apple, the war I saw on the news is actually happening, my dog is likely asleep, my pen is right where I left it on my nightstand, that list goes on and on. I've got a good one for you...at this moment right now as you read these words, someone else is reading the exact same post, maybe even the exact same word! They may live nearby or across the world. And maybe, just maybe, someone is thinking just like you and wondering what the point is of all this gibberish, or even more amazing, thinking OF you and knowing you would relate to these words just like you do. 

I could go on and on with my imaginings, and if I'm being honest, I still harbor these types of thoughts on a daily basis. After all, I’m the only one in this whole world, past or present, who saw the inside of the orange that I ate this morning. That's crazy! These are the awe-inspiring thoughts that run through my mind. A friend of mine once told me to stay out of my mind because it's a dangerous place.  Haha! So I don't question my awe...I just enjoy it. It brings me back to the present moment and I am reminded of the blessings that permeate my life:

My children and family...Their friends and the parents of their friends, who become my friends, first by association, then by shared experiences...The students I love, the parents who lend them to me...The co-workers who bring love and humor to ensure our students find success in school...Potato chips...Beautiful words...Running...So many amazing, wonderful pieces that make up my life! I am grateful for it all and I am blessed!

I want to always be filled with awe.  I want to live every moment of every day in a way that makes a difference in our world. I know I have the power to do this. I can change lives, beginning with my own, just by seeing beauty, and even excitement, when it's not immediately apparent. I can take this moment to create a smile, create hope, create connections, create love, or create nothing. What incredible power and responsibility! We are so lucky to have this life, and when we fill each moment with the proper sense of awe, we will become the force necessary to change the lives of others and live our own life to the fullest.

Enjoy reading what I write? Copies of my book, Connections Across the Student Desk, are available on Amazon: LINK HERE  or Barnes and Noble: LINK HERE

Wish I could come speak to your staff and colleagues? Give me the topic, I'll make it come alive! Contact me! maccaronicrew@outlook.com

Take Me to Your People: finding those who lift you up

Finding your tribe, the people who breathe life into you day after day, is not an easy task. No one teaches us how to find these people, but they are so very important to our well-being, to our happiness, to our very ability to say "Yes!" to the life we have built, even on the days it attempts to tear us down. At this point in my life, I have watched my five children work their way through the K-12 years. I have comforted them when friends moved away. I have wiped tears when "friends" were unkind and needed to shift into a different lane. I have attempted to be level-headed as, more often than I would have thought possible through my rose-colored glasses, we embarked on the conversation that begins with, "X is so mean!". Repeatedly I have asked myself, "When did this get so hard?"

I remember childhood days in my neighborhood. If the sun was out, so were the kids. We didn't have to look for the neighborhood kids who lifted us up. We all lifted each other. Sure, there were the few kids who when they turned the corner the rest of us would heave a sigh of...a sigh of what?...Maybe, "This isn't what I would have asked for, this changes things, but we can make it work."  And we did. We invited others in. We switched the game. We repeated the rules. We came out with snacks for everyone...even the kid who might be a little bit edgy or mean spirited. Most of the time we had fun. Sometimes kids had to be reminded to not be a "dweeb". haha!  But even that was done in a way that endeavored to include. We wanted to lift. We wanted to live. We wanted to just have fun.

Where did that go? Why did that go? And how do we navigate this new social landscape? As a mom and as a middle school teacher, I try to help the younger people in my life know their people and kindly dismiss those who threaten their well-being. But as adults it is just as imperative that we find others who will lift us up and share the higher ground. Hopefully we find that in the people who share our dwelling, but we also need it in the workplace. Have you found your people? Do you have someone or a few someones, to whom you can go when you need a smile, or a mental hug, or a mental shot of something strong enough to get you through the day? And how do you find them? For me, it is in the shared joys of the day. It is in the shared 'what the ...?' of the day. And it is in the shared understanding that we are in this together and we believe in the good of each other even on the days when life's circumstances bring out our worst. These are my people, and as we near the end of Spring Break, I find that I am not completely disappointed that my break from work is coming to an end because next week I get to reunite with my people and enjoy again all the joy, laughs and energy they bring to my life!

Enjoy reading what I write? Copies of my book, Connections Across the Student Desk, are available on Amazon: LINK HERE  or Barnes and Noble: LINK HERE

Wish I could come speak to your staff and colleagues? Give me the topic, I'll make it come alive! Contact me! maccaronicrew@outlook.com

Words Matter: Affirming Students Beyond, "You Are Enough."

My kids used to talk about the "Love Languages" and try to determine with which one a person leads. "Words of Affirmation", Love Language #1, always brought my thoughts to the classroom and the way words can work magic with children, who by their developmental nature hunger for affirmation. 

If you scroll through social media, you will encounter various general affirmations intended to help people feel good about themselves. "You're Doing Great!", "You Are Enough!", "You've survived 100% of your difficult days." etc...Do these blanket affirmations work for you? Or do you need something more intimate? A co-worker telling you that your time and effort made completion of a project possible. Your spouse thanking you for all the work you do to keep the family running smoothly. Your parent finally acknowledges that you are a successful adult. Specific affirming words from those we love carry more meaning and let us feel seen, appreciated and valuable. 

Let's take a look at affirmations in the classroom and our goals when delivering them. What do children need from the adults in their lives in the way of verbal affirmations? Is our goal with students and children to simply let them know, "You are Enough"?  While this statement affirms someone in the moment to know they are accepted, I would posit that our intention as parents and teachers must be so much more! Yes, students need to know they are loved and fully accepted for the human being that stands before us; that they are fully loved for all that they bring to the table and completely accepted. They belong and they matter. 

But there it is, that final word, "Matter". That word needs to drive our intentionality of language. Because if you "matter", then you'd better be open to personal growth and improvement. Therefore, my mere approval of you doesn't matter. You need so much more! You need to know that your growth, your ability to own your effort, and your desire to make constant improvements, is imperative. You need to be able to listen to the feedback and use it to affect improvements, not because you are not enough, but because you believe you can be so much more! You matter! Your growth and improvement matter. Your confidence in yourself matters. Your growth toward your true potential is not dependent on the words or ideas of anyone else but YOU!

How do we guide students to this level of self-awareness, self-efficacy and growth? By choosing our words carefully. By crafting our verbiage to support students while challenging them to fully know themselves and take personal ownership of their outcomes and the achievement of their goals. 

--- Sometimes this means we must talk less: "I like how you're sitting and setting an example for the class," becomes: "You're sitting ready to learn."

--- Sometimes this means we must talk more: "I'm proud of you for finishing your work." becomes: "You worked hard to finish that. That last one was challenging. How does that feel?"

--- But always, it's about taking ourselves out of the verbiage so that the words speak solely of and to the child: "You read the directions carefully and reached the goal you set.", "You are showing self-control and demonstrating focus.", "You learned from your mistake and made changes that lead to the results you wanted."

As I write this, I find it ironic that I spent so much time in my personal relationships with a partner or my children, learning to make "I" statements instead of "You" statements. But doesn't it really make sense after all? I was learning to own my feelings, my actions, and not to lead with blame or finger-pointing. But here we are...we want to point the finger at our students to help them own their learning and growth! We want them to feel empowered to drive their own personal growth and learning; to do all of this regardless of who is around to praise them, notice them, or elevate them. 

"You Are Enough"

Oh yes, you are...but there is so much more you will achieve if you just believe in your potential, set goals for yourself, and never stop growing. You will work to get this right! Your words matter and shape the future of children!

Enjoy reading what I write? Copies of my book, Connections Across the Student Desk, are available on Amazon: LINK HERE  or Barnes and Noble: LINK HERE

Wish I could come speak to your staff and colleagues? Give me the topic, I'll make it come alive! Contact me! maccaronicrew@outlook.com