I am a strong believer in the power of purpose. Feeling we have purpose brings a sense of value and belonging to everything we do. Purpose helps us to know we are where we are meant to be and opens our hearts to fully sharing ourselves with those around us. Our culture has decided that certain traits and characteristics hold value, and therefore provide purpose, while others do not. If our culture consistently got this right, this wouldn't be a problem. But instead, our culture gets pieces of this horribly wrong, and some of our children and adults suffer from a lack of feeling purposeful and valued because of that.
☑ attitude
☑ age
☑ honesty
☑ athleticism
☑ appearance
☑ integrity
☑ monetary wealth
It would be difficult to find people that agree in their societal monetary determinations of the traits listed above. The answers and possibilities are determined by our perceptions and are as varied as the readers of this post. That's OK. Agreement is not the point. Societal value of personal characteristics is subjective and situational. (Just ask any comedian who now gets paid to do exactly what caused them to repeatedly get into trouble in grade school.) This is why it is so important that we, as the adults in the lives of children, help the children we love to find, see, understand, accept and internalize their personal purpose and value.
As is my way, my mind goes to the ordinary and mundane to make a point. Let's take a look at cooking spray and the penny.
Cooking Spray: When my children were small and we would visit our friends, my children enjoyed the huge (to them at the time) hill that sloped up and away from the back of the house. That hill was used for running, rolling, and generally expending energy. One of their favorite activities on that hill was to slide down the hill in the Bilibo. The Bilibo was basically a bowl that was large enough for a child to sit in. The Bilibo was fun, sliding down the hill in the Bilibo was fun, but nothing beat when our friend would take out the aerosol can of cooking spray to coat the bottom of the vessel to bring it to warp speed! A little spritz of cooking spray and my children were flying down that hill with giggles increased exponentially. Our friend took a common everyday household staple and changed its purpose to create incredible fun.
- Item purpose is not one-dimensional. Neither is yours! In every situation your purpose will be defined and redefined by you and those around you. It feels terrible when you haven't yet found your purpose, and so your perception of your worth and value decreases. BUT, you don't know the perceptions of others! And maybe, just maybe, you are fulfilling a purpose that goes beyond your awareness. Take a moment to consider the places in your life where you feel the least amount of connection to your purpose. Once you get that thought, now think like my friend, and look beyond the obvious. You may be fulfilling a purpose beyond your imagination!
A Pile of Pennies: My sister went to Tahiti for her honeymoon and left her parakeet with me for safekeeping. During its three-week stint in my dorm room at Trenton State College, that bird proved it was cut out for college life by being up all night. A few days in, my roommate and I gathered pennies to have near our beds. When the bird would wake us up with its chirping, a swift fling of a penny dinging the cage bars would quiet it for some time before it would begin again. This alternative to going outside and opening the cage door was a relationship saver. A simple pile of pennies, the very coin whose purpose is in question, served to stop the bird's chirping and keep our sanity.
- Sometimes purpose is subtle like that. Sometimes we are called just to be present to alleviate something that would otherwise cause tension, unhappiness or strife. We are that sharp "ding" of the bars that jolts someone back into kindness or compassion or much needed silence in a situation that would be fueled by verbalized adversity. We feel we are doing nothing and offering no purpose when in fact, we are the reason everyone is at peace.
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