Words and Phrases that say, "Notice me...Live me..."

Sometimes words float into my head and then proceed to float right back out. Other times, they sit and roost, begging to be entertained for a long visit, bringing with them a "notice me... live me..." kind of attitude. The following paragraphs each begin with a phrase that has been perched on my brain for some time, resurrected intermittently by events we've all been living. I would like to share the phrases, along with questions I ask myself, so that you too, might invite them in for a little conversation, contemplation and mindful interpretation. I'd love to know if any of them say to you, "Notice me...Live me..."

Living in fear does not protect you. Worry does not protect you. Living in worry and fear is not really living at all. When worry and fear start to guide my days, I know it is time to step back and assess. What exactly is the basis for the worry? What is bringing fear to the forefront of my mind? Without fail, whatever the catalyst for either, the debilitating effect is unproductive and unhealthy. Our world offers much to fuel the flames of worry and fear, but when I go in the direction of entertaining either, I forget that my purpose on this planet is to live, to the fullest of my potential. I cannot do that when I am afraid to be around people, or when by avoiding others, I refuse to notice the service I am called to perform. Our calling, vocation and purpose do not change because life has become more difficult to manage. When I allow worry and fear to guide my life, I am not fully living my "me". What are you called to do? How can you do that with fervor, even in the face of circumstances that fuel worry and fear?

I can be happy and at peace while still being safe and cautious. At various moments over the past few months, our world arrived at a point where being happy and at peace was difficult to muster. While approaching shopping one day, mask in place, I smiled at a young man who was wiping down carts and thanked him for working to keep us all safe. I could not see his mouth, but the smile that came through in his eyes was enough to stop me in my tracks. I proceeded to ask him to smile at everyone in that way as they entered the store so that they can feel the happiness and peace that his smile brought to me even in the midst of this newly stressful situation of 'regular' shopping. That exchange brought to the forefront of my mind the first line of this paragraph. Go ahead and reread it. I am often accused of not taking things seriously enough because I am at peace with the turmoil. My ability to find happiness and peace is not a bad thing. It is a gift and a trait I work diligently to hone, even in adverse situations. Imagine a world where more of us could live as the young man with the beautifully smiling eyes so adeptly did, and pass peace along to others.

Happiness is not ignorance; it is the complete acceptance of our lack of control and willingness to continue forward anyway. That's right! Happiness has nothing to do with being clueless. Quite the opposite! I know the famous saying goes, "Ignorance is bliss." And while those who are ignorant might enjoy a certain level of bliss in not knowing what is amiss in their surroundings, this is not true happiness. The bliss this quote speaks of is merely a band-aid that can be ripped off to expose a source of misery at any second. Imagine you are in your home, totally oblivious to the vandals outside just waiting for the moment to break in. You are feeling bliss...but it will not be long lasting. True happiness exists only by knowing exactly what we are up against, accepting our position and role, and moving forward with full knowledge of possible consequences. 

I challenge you to let these words take root in your mind for some mindful moments. Maybe a phrase per day for a few days. I was deliberately vague in most of my presentations of these phrases in hopes that you might find circumstances in your own life where the words can come to life, whispering or screaming, whatever your preference, "Notice me...Live me..."

Sharing My Conundrum (Gotta love that word!)

My most recent post was made on Memorial Day...perhaps that was the last time I felt that my mind could wrap itself around a topic without wincing and feeling irreconcilably inadequate. While I have voiced to many people why I have taken a leave from posting, I feel it would be most responsible of me to let you, the folks who tend to enjoy my musings, know where I've been and why. Let's see if I can put words to the reasons in such a way that help me to more easily make my way back to the keyboard that I've so tremendously missed! But, like a child cautiously dipping his toe to test the waters, I fear the consequences of any path I take in this tenuous environment.

The brokenness of our society and world is heartbreaking. That is not news to anyone choosing to live and breathe. Even my children, young as they are in the scheme of things, can understand that living in community on this planet can be challenging on a good day and downright petrifying on another type of day. We have much work to do...this is not novel information. And although many might not like to hear it, much of the work needs to be done on each of our individual hearts in order to foster the wisdom and courage to go out into the world and create the change that is necessary for humanity to be human again. 

And therein lies my absence. While I feel completely unable to voice anything worthwhile or new in this culture of commentary-oversaturation, I also feel that to write about frivolities in the form of, for example, metaphors between my dog and life, is to diminish the enormity of our world's present state of turmoil. I mean, does it really matter that I write about how I cried at the end of our school year when people are feeling hatred and loathing for and from others on a daily basis? I really don't know.

And so, where does this leave me and my writing? I am not sure. I am here, so that is a step. I cannot allow a full month to go by before sharing new writing, so that is telling. I've a long list of frivolity that is waiting for words and is sure to bring smiles. I've a longer list of deep-rooted messages that I've been told need to be shared. And I've fear of penning either route. 

With all of that out on the table, I will move past my fear and insecurity to come back to the keyboard. I welcome any and all points of view to be voiced back to me...even if mostly through personal emails and messages. Anyone who knows me well, knows that it is never my intention to be anything but kind. A good friend, without realizing it, gave me the boost I needed when he said, "I'd never call you a jerk." Ha! It's the little things...but with my reputation for kindness preceding me, I will move forward. Thank you to those who have reached out to see where I have been. (My favorite message: "Long time no read.") Thank you for living this life with me. Thank you for reading and thank you for being. Not sure what the next words will be, but whatever path is chosen, it's a comfort to know we will be hashing it out together.  See you in a few days!