Some names and events were changed to protect the identity of the child depicted in this story. Usually my children are immune to my musings, but this time my subject asked me to make her anonymous. The same child though, in listening to my journey, understood the parallels and importance of the analogy drawn below. (I think that makes me prouder than any part of this.) Check this out...
Last Saturday we went to Barnes and Noble for the first time since March. Barnes and Noble is this Maccaroni child's favorite place to go. I also made a special trip to Wegmans to purchase the frozen pineapple and new carafe she needed in order to attempt a recipe she had found for making a refreshing fruited water. When I returned home with it, I sat with her to spend some extra time talking with her to bring her calm. You see, that morning this Maccaroni had gone for her run and returned in tears. She had timed herself and was well over the expected mile limit for an athlete headed toward tryouts. This particular child has asthma, and although it is prohibitive in what she is able to do, she loathes using it as an excuse for anything. She was determined this summer to get her time down, she had failed at reaching that goal, and she was incredibly disappointed. Here's the thing though. She wasn't being the squeaky wheel. She wasn't asking for attention or gifts or time. She just needed; quietly, humbly, sadly; needed her people to surround her.
So what did this family do? As a unit, we took the time to make her the center of the universe for a while, to help ease her unhappiness and to encourage her to keep trying her best. As we did so, nothing was lost for anyone else. None of the other four was put out or ignored or made to be any less important by the attention directed toward the one who needed to be pulled in and loved extra.
In fact, quite the opposite occurred.
As she felt better, the child in question made her refreshing concoction and gratefully shared it with everyone around. At the bookstore, she chose a book of scary stories to share with her siblings and friends at a fire pit that night. Her healing brought happiness and new strength to the clan. Even Rebecca, the self-proclaimed social skill failure, was able to talk to her sister about team expectations and the fun her teammates would have partaking in the impending endurance training. Everyone went up a few pegs that day because together we decided that this young lady needed to matter more. We brought her to the fold and held her up until she was able to independently stand where she belonged...in the midst of a community that cared about her. No one whined, "What about me?" or stated, "We all matter." or screamed, "That's not fair!" Those types of comments weren't even entertained. On Saturday it was that one child who mattered, and because we all embraced that challenge and figured out how to make her well-being a priority, the family was stronger in the end.
Recently at a Lawrence Township Board of Ed meeting a wise woman proclaimed, "If one person in Lawrenceville is suffering, we are all suffering." Thank you, Erika Smoots, for summing up the journey we all share. I am proud and excited for the path laid out before us all. I am ready to make sure others matter until they too can independently stand where they belong, right here next to me and you, belonging in community.
