I remember my high school Earth Science teacher, Mr. Vitolo, talking about the risks taken every time we get into a car and drive on a road. Considering how long ago that was and how questionable my memory is, the fact that this stuck demonstrates the power of his message. He took his time to describe how ludicrous it was to trust that a painted line down the middle of the road would prohibit the oncoming traffic from careening into us. Oh, and then he went into the incredible power of the stop sign. No physical effort to make cars stop, yet we all assume its power to create a safe intersection. Let that sink in. Because it's true. And scary. Every day we trust the lines and signs on the road to keep us alive. We depend on them. We honor them and we believe that the other drivers with whom we share the road will do the same.
So how did we all learn that we don't cross that middle line in the road? Probably started when we were younger and we watched our adults driving. We observed. We maybe drew lines in the street to make a road that we traveled with our scooters and bikes, mimicking the modeling done for us by our adults. We knew the value of the painted line without anyone needing to show us the dangers involved in crossing over. It was an efficacious boundary, holding power by simply being present.
When we model boundaries for children, they learn to set healthy boundaries for themselves. When we neglect to model boundaries for children, they do not learn to set healthy boundaries for themselves. It really is that simple. What an incredible responsibility we have! How do you model boundaries with your children and students? Our culture has become foggy in the setting of boundaries. Cell phones at the table while we share dinner with others. TV on even when we are intending to give our attention to those around us. Google classroom assignments due all hours of the night or on the weekend outside of regular school hours. I can go on and on. We have muddied the waters and erased boundaries...the healthy lines in the road that are intended to keep us healthy and safe.
And so, I implore you. Create boundaries for yourself and model them for the children who are watching you. They need to know it is OK to state their boundaries. In fact, this is what will keep them from feeling out of control. Let them see you turn off your phone and put it away for a chunk of time. Let them see you turn off "work" by leaving the computer screen. Let them be the receiver when you say "no" to getting them this or buying them that. These are opportunities to help them know and appreciate boundaries. Model for your students and children. Let them see you embrace the boundaries you set and the peace they bring you. Help them trust that their boundaries will, just as that double yellow painted line down the center of the road, keep them safe and healthy.
