Just Because It Feels as if You Never Left, Doesn't Mean That's True

As many teachers rounded out the first full week of the new school year, through conversations both in-person and online I noticed a frustration and defeat creeping into comments and demeanor. The frustration was not with students or with curriculum, but with the self. As teachers we tend to hold ourselves to ridiculously high standards and a result is a frustration with ourselves and our perceived inability to jump right back in. Teachers I spoke with seemed to think they should be able to do so much more in this short amount of time than they were accomplishing and they seemed to believe that this new school year should already fit like a well-worn cap. I found myself imploring folks to be gentle on themselves, this ancient new direction is one that is traveled repeatedly throughout the world, yet your path with your particular crew has never before been explored!

I often need to remind myself to heed my own advice, and so in listening to my words, I was reminded of the impatience I felt with myself when my children and I moved out of our family home where we had spent most of our years together and into a brand new home and way of life. Being a creature of habit, I craved the ease with which I had parented my school-aged children from my home base for so many years.  I mean, I had it down to a science!  Kids chose lunch options the Sunday heading into the school week. Their clothing was organized on shelves and their shoes in cubbies. Hooks labeled with each child's name by the front door delineated which backpacks and sweaters hung where. It was an organized mother's dream come true. It ran like clockwork....Then we moved... To a home that is a fraction of the size and did not afford the same amount of space to organize my five school children and their teacher-mom. A new home that had not had the comfortable attribute of growing along with us, but instead into which we thrust ourselves, in full-color action, mid-school-year.  For weeks I was frustrated with my inability to get us to the point we had been before. I berated myself for not being able to provide the routine and security of control that I had been able to bestow on my children before. After all, the kids and their needs were the same. In essence, it was "as if I had never left" so why could I not get it together as I had so easily before?

And then a friend gave me a little plaque and a stone.

On the plaque were the words, "I believe in being gentle on our soul as we mend and heal our hearts" and on the stone simply the word, "Courage".

While these words might not seem like much, at the time of their gifting they had the power to jumpstart a new mindset and alter my outlook. Slow down for a moment right now. Give it a read again. Then listen to what it has to say to your teacher-soul.

"I believe in being gentle on our soul as we mend and heal our hearts"

"Courage"

Do you see it? Do you see why you might be feeling as you do during these first weeks of returning to school? While your heart may not be in need of mending and healing, it is still in a state of turmoil and change. This is stressful! Many have returned to school feeling as though we never left. Summer seems to have flown by. In the grand scheme of life as we add years to our age, those two summer months become a smaller and smaller fraction of the life we have lived.  As a result, while they lazily lingered on forever when we were children, now they run by us in a flash. We return to school and we are in the same room, using the same materials and working with the same staff. It all seems so familiar and commonplace that we cannot understand why we can't fall into the routine of ease that we left in June.

When we forget to take the time to reflect on the true passing of time, it's no wonder it seems as though we should be able to do this as if we were in this position for eight months. After all, it's not an illusion that it seems as if we never left. But think for a moment about what is different.  Not the room, building or co-workers, but instead the most important part of our job; the students!  Try to name another profession where the primary clientele arrives in droves, immediately sits looking for the person in charge to serve them, expects the leader to be on top of their game from the get-go, and then comes back the next day with the same expectations...  Add to that the fact that every interaction with every students matters, and I am certain this type of stress does not exist in any other situation. The stress we are feeling is that accompanied by the high demand to build relationship with 20, 30, 150, 300 people!  Not those at a conference who will leave us in a few days, but those in our space, silently and subconsciously demanding of us that we be there for them, today, tomorrow, the next day....

And so, please go gently on your soul!  This is all new, even if it is not. Sharing a chocolate cake with an old friend is very different from sharing it with a new love. Not better, not worse, just different. New love, while exciting and something you anticipate with joy, can be very stressful. It's a happy stress, but it is stress all the same. You feel different, you act differently, and you need to be more in tuned to making sure that sharing with that new love the next time, will feel more and more like sharing with the old friend...comfortable and familiar. That's growth! That's what we are striving for with our students. We start with all this new love in September, taking the time to cultivate relationships, and this is stressful! This is work for our hearts. But be patient!  It is a wonderful time! For this new love will fit like the most comfortable old friend in time, and it is then that you will feel at peace with the gift you have as an educator! And so over the next few weeks, keep repeating to yourself as I will be to myself; "Go gently on your soul"!