This post's assembly took longer than usual because it was something that needed to be knocked around my mind like a pinball, dismantled beyond the point of recognition, studied from various angles only to continue to cause me to question its validity. The writing of this post started in June with an all-nighter and took many turns along the way. Its creation involved a paralegal and in the end, it will suggest a daily trip down a crowded hallway and a Device Deprivation Double Dog Dare. Yes, this is going to be one unique read, and it all starts with that simple statement:
Experience is the Catalyst for Empathy...
First, the All-Nighter: Last June I had the opportunity to assist with Project Graduation, an overnight event held in our high school with the intention of providing graduating seniors a safe place to party and celebrate. As a volunteer I was assigned to various stations throughout the night. Along with a school colleague and several parents, I stayed for the duration of the event. Then after arriving home about 5:45am, I showered before attending the final day of school. You younger teachers might be thinking, "What's the big deal?". Let me just say, at 48 years-old this was quite an undertaking. But let me be clear. I don't regret it one bit! The experience helped me to begin this quest for understanding. It started me on the path to figure out if empathy requires experience. You see, staying up all night allowed me to feel what I am sure countless teens feel after staying up all night to text, play games and just be the night owls their bodies tell them to be. And while I don't condone their sleeping habits, at least now I understand what those habits create for them during the school day. On that last day of school my stomach hurt, my patience waned and my ability to think quickly and respond reasonably was limited. From this experience I gained empathy for the teens I teach, as well as the ones that I parent, who have difficulty finding adequate sleep on a regular basis.
Next while we as teachers struggle to help others understand the intensity of our jobs, our explanations repeatedly fall short of breeding empathy and drift away as nonsense without taking root. Why? The answer is simple and I am incredulous as to why it never hit me before. To adequately describe the experience of being a teacher is impossible. Instead we need to invite others to spend a day; not an hour or a class period, but an entire day in our shoes.
On September 11, my neighbor and friend was allowed this very experience in our school. As a paralegal in NYC, he took a "day off" from work to speak to our students about his experiences on that day in 2001. In the end, the students were not the only ones given a new perspective. Leaving his daily commute to NYC behind for a day in order to tell his story to middle school students every period for 7 periods, he was rewarded with a newfound appreciation for the world of education and the folks who serve children in this way. As he described it, this total time-on-task was unlike his daily work experience. Working from bell to bell, continuing to teach even when he was tired and would have preferred a break, maintaining a level of decorum necessary around children, all combined to give him a new appreciation for the profession. Through his experience, empathy was born.
On September 11, my neighbor and friend was allowed this very experience in our school. As a paralegal in NYC, he took a "day off" from work to speak to our students about his experiences on that day in 2001. In the end, the students were not the only ones given a new perspective. Leaving his daily commute to NYC behind for a day in order to tell his story to middle school students every period for 7 periods, he was rewarded with a newfound appreciation for the world of education and the folks who serve children in this way. As he described it, this total time-on-task was unlike his daily work experience. Working from bell to bell, continuing to teach even when he was tired and would have preferred a break, maintaining a level of decorum necessary around children, all combined to give him a new appreciation for the profession. Through his experience, empathy was born.
How powerful would it be if we invited people from various professions to take one day off from their daily job to spend it as a teacher? In order for this to work, they would need to come in regardless of the sleep or lack thereof that they had the night before. They would need to begin when the first bell rings and keep going with all eyes on them for the full period. If in the younger grades, they could have the full experience with a dose of runny noses and elementary bickering, and if in the older grades, cell phone withdrawal and pushing of limits. Regardless of student-age, they would be guaranteed relentless needs and tremendous responsibility unparalleled in any other profession and indescribable without the experience. And in the end, the experience might breed empathy for a world which others like to evaluate without ever stepping foot in the door.
These are just two examples of many that my mind has considered over the past few months. Empathy from experience....I really do believe there is credence to the idea. Still not convinced? Maybe take a three minute walk in the crowded high school hallway. For the first minute weave in and out of groups of chattering teens, next try to get to your locker which is being blocked by a crowd of kids, then spend the last minute worrying that you might be late to class...and subsequently reprimanded by the teacher... again. Would you arrive at your destination focused and ready to work? The experience might help you have empathy for the students who arrive to you each day.
I leave you with one final challenge. It's the Device Deprivation Double Dog Dare that I mentioned at the outset. I think you know what I am going to suggest...There is much talk about the addiction of our students to their devices. I don't believe most adults are faring any better in this area. Perhaps we as teachers need to set an example. Have the experience of being device free during school hours. No texting, no posting, no checking...Could you do it? I Double Dog Dare you! Interested in trying out the theory of empathy by experience? If you decide to do it, let us know how it goes...let us know if it helps you to understand the resistance from students, the withdrawal symptoms really. This could be an eye-opener as you use the experience to build empathy. Not so you decide that they should have their phones in school but so that you can truly say you understand how they feel.
