Mom! Why? What if...???

Any parent will tell you that there are times when the needs of children become overwhelming.  Some words and questions are heard over and over, hundreds of times in a day. I am here to tell you, there are remedies...but there are also good reasons to allow the words and questions to be repeated. 

When the kids were little and I was home with them, there were days when the incessant "Mom. Mom? MOM!!!" would get to the point of being intolerable. If I had to hear "Mom?!" one more time, I thought I might scream. Luckily, "Mom" overuse was easily fixed with humor. I would simply declare that my name was Fred. If the kids needed me, they were expected to call me Fred since that was the only name to which I would respond for however long I needed to regroup. The ensuing giggling alone was like salve to my mind, alleviating the stress and helping us move forward with our day. By the way, this was done at home as well as when we were out and about. Occasionally the moniker was rewarded with an incredulous look from a fellow shopper or a chuckle from an amused cashier. Just icing on the cake!

The second most overly used word in my home environment was "Why?" Why? was much less frequently squashed, mainly because my curious nature and my desire to nurture thinkers and questioners drove me to feel torn between the need for silence and the desire to invite opportunities to teach. There were certainly times when I absolutely needed to declare a "No Why Zone" in order to maintain my sanity.  I just could not endure another Why? This was never done lightly or without consideration for the consequences of silencing curiosity. Why, you may ask? haha! Well, because Why? has so many implications for improvement and growth that I knew my need for the break would possibly stunt the very growth that I normally encouraged. Why? is such an important question, no matter the circumstances, ages or reasons.

While it is true that a three-year-old's "Why?" is quite different from that of a teenager's, which differs from an adult's, the foundation of the question is really quite similar. There is a desire to understand, to challenge and to seek information. "Why?" is such an important question, and one that we need to constantly bring to the forefront of what we do. As such, I challenge you today to keep asking yourself:

"Why?" 

1. Why do I feel this way? 
2. Why did I react as I did? 
3. Why don't I agree with this person? 
4. Why do I feel so strongly about this? 
5. Why do I keep doing it this way?
6. Why do I want to give up today? 
7. Why do I continue to surround myself with people who don't bring out my best? 
8. Why? Why? Why?

We need to keep asking Why? If we are honest with ourselves, we might begin to understand the reasoning behind our thoughts, actions and interactions. Then, when we have that understanding, the real challenge comes...the second most frequently asked words in the child questioning continuum. This request for further knowledge is wrapped into two small words.  Know which words are uttered next in the Why? conversation?  That's right:

"What if...?"

1. What if I try to change how I feel? 
2. What if I react with more compassion? 
3. What if I try to see it their way? 
4. What if I try to cool down a bit?
5. What if I try to do it another way? 
6. What if I look for the positive in my day...all day? 
7. What if I only surround myself with people who raise me up? 
8. What if? What if? What if?

I know I sometimes become complacent with why I do certain things, why I think certain ways and why I allow myself to believe I just need to accept things as they are. Not true!!!  When we stop asking Why?, we get stuck. We cannot function at our best if we are stuck in a No Why Zone. We are called to so much more!  We are questioners that need to go beyond the Why? to the What if...?  

Thank you for reading and until next time, keep on questioning,

With much gratitude,

Fred.