Curiosity: It's Not Just for Kids

As I scroll through education related social media feeds, I am amazed at the amount of conferences, workshops and learning opportunities available to teachers throughout the country. On any given day, a variety of experiences are being shared, usually by other educators, to help us hone our curriculum delivery, behavior management, self-care, etc... Lately as I look over the repertoire advertised, I have come to sit in wonder at how we will spend time and money to go listen to other educators when we have educational professionals just down the hall, up a flight of stairs, or in the room next door. Why do we not explore and make good use of this free daily opportunity to be curious, gain knowledge and learn new tricks of the trade from those we know.

As educators we come together in school to share time and talent, and yet we squander the opportunities set before us each day. I am a ridiculous contemplator and as such I often challenge myself by asking, "Do I give each of these amazing people who share this year's journey with me everything I have to offer? Do I lend an ear when needed? Do I give a smile every chance I have? Do I ask for their help, their opinions and their advice? Do I keep myself open to learn from them? Heck, do I even know the names of the over 70 people who are housed in this building with me on a daily basis?"

School is a home that we share with these other adults, 

and yet we know so little about them..

With this in mind, I have made a commitment to myself. I will attempt to make connections and learn from these professionals I see every day. As a self-aware introvert, I have trained myself to make the effort to know every name of those teaching in the building with me. Some days are crazy, and so if someone starts mid-year it may take me a few days to ask for their name, but even if that is the case, I still commit the time to meet them and let them know I am here for them. As for others who have been in the building with me for years, I make it a point to say hello and smile when I see them, and when it's been a while since I've seen them, I say as much to let them know I noticed. 

Here's the thing that bothers me though. While I know everyone's name and expertise, I have not visited most classrooms, and for that I hold out a personal challenge for the rest of this year. So often classrooms are demoted to a level similar to dorm rooms in college. We only visit the ones that house those with whom we work closely, or those from whom we need to borrow something. If we follow the dorm-room example, our supervisors and administrative staff are the Resident Advisors who come in to check things out. They visit each room and get to know the feel of the environment. But why should this advantage and honor be limited to administration? Last week's faculty meeting was held in the classroom of one of my colleagues, and I sat there stealing ideas and taking notes on what I can do differently/better in my own classroom. Afterward I thought to myself how I work in a building where ideas are readily on display, and yet allow year after year to slip by without taking advantage of these amazing resources. How insanely wasteful!

At the end of June last year, a co-worker jokingly told another that the first day of school was only 12 weeks away. Meant to instill horror, for me it was a challenge. I had 12 weeks to figure out what I wanted to work on for the upcoming school year. Teaching is so amazing in that we get this natural pause during which we can reflect, regroup, reset and redirect. I always end up with an extensive list, much of which seems so easy when there is no school in session, and so impossible once the reality of a new year sets in. The main thing I decided I want to do better, and stating it here will hold me accountable, is that I want to consider how I can more deeply connect with my colleagues. 

My children have this odd behavior in which when we are out and about, they will look directly at someone from school without saying "hello" because, "Mom, that would be weird!" I say to them to imagine if they saw that same person while on a trip to a foreign country...no doubt they would be astonished to see that person and be compelled to say hello and share some information about what brought them both to this exact place and time. Why wait for extenuating circumstances to say hello and get to know one another? Exude kindness and familiarity daily with those who share this journey! These people are your family for the next several months of your life! It's an amazing honor to know and work with them in such an incredibly humble profession. Plus, they have so much to teach you, even if just by their example and a quick visit to their classroom.

One last thought because as I was writing this, I couldn't help but think that it's all about curiosity. So often we relinquish the temptation of curiosity, embarrassed that we have it, giving its power only to young children. We see young ones as inherently curious, and when we ourselves allow curiosity to take control, we think we are overstepping boundaries or acting less-than-adultlike. And so, I challenge you. Be curious! Ask about others! Acknowledge your commonalities that will help you to know one another more deeply. These are the little things that will help you to see past those items that tend to make us catty or gossip, which by the way are poison in a school building. Be curious. Be sincere. Be willing to create relationships and learn from your colleagues. Curiosity: It's Not Just for Kids!

Humility as a Cure for Humiliation

A recent conversation regarding a vocabulary word is the impetus for this post. I love words. I enjoy taking the time to choose just the right word. I like to learn new words, but I don't like to use uncommon words when I speak or write. I find doing so interferes with the enjoyable flow of a conversation or written passage. However, I do believe more complicated words have their rightful place as well. A friend of mine once laughed at the fact that I own a hard covered 1980's thesaurus. It's old and well worn. And it beats an internet search for a synonym or antonym any day of the week!  

All that to begin a post about "humility", the vocabulary word in question. When I introduce, and then we continue to practice with new vocabulary words, class discussions are the fuel for our learning fire. Typically after we have spent some time studying a list of words, students are asked to present one of the words to the class. They can use it in a sentence, draw a picture, give an example of a real-life event that illustrates the word, or simply use their own definition to tell the meaning of the word. This past Tuesday when I put humility on the board, it was because a particular student chose it as the word he wanted to present. This student chose "humility" precisely because he struggled to understand it's meaning. That was so awesome and apropos! And so we ran with it. It sat on the board and we talked. At first glance the student felt it had a negative connotation. With a little unearthing, the class determined he was confusing humility with humiliation. This prompted a discussion of humiliation, and students declaring instances of humiliation in their lives:

• being berated for not knowing what to do
• feeling "small" because we forgot our homework or laptop or ID card
• being told by peers we are not welcome at a lunch table that we worked up the courage to approach
• various things our parents do that make us feel like little kids instead of the budding young adults our middle school age indicates

After some serious discussion and some laughs at the many ways we tolerate and survive humiliation, we were back to humility. We talked about humility being the catalyst that can stop humiliation in its tracks. When we need to ask for the directions again and a teacher says, "It's OK, let me explain them to you a different way." or when we forgot our homework or laptop and the teacher says, "I get it, yesterday I forgot my phone at home", or "I forgot my laptop too!" Humility is the sense that I am not better than you, and you are not better than me, but we are both human! We both make mistakes. We both do some pretty amazing things too! Humility says you and I are on the same team regardless of our differences. Humility says, "I will follow the rules right along with you" or "I will sit next to you at the same desk or table, and we will work this out together." Humility says we are equals in terms of being worthy of respect, kindness and gentleness, even in the midst of our mistakes. Humility says you don't need to be afraid to say the wrong answer because you are safe choosing the word that is most difficult, so that together we can understand it better.

I have a feeling this particular group of kids has found a word to drive their intentions for the next few weeks or months. I plan to follow right alongside them. Not ahead, not behind, but arm in arm. I am humbled by their presence, by their bravery in learning and by their honesty in sharing. Together we will use humility to demolish humiliation. 

On Our Way to School, Part 3: Valuing Each Other, Changing the World Together!

When you consider your job, whether you are in education or not, what are aspects of your work system that you could not live without? Caffeine? Chocolate? That little heater under your desk in the winter? Various tools that make your job easier and keep you organized? The list is likely to be lengthy and would cover all the pieces that make your work and tasks manageable and maybe even enjoyable. 

For me, of all the possible aspects, the people with whom I work make the difference between failing and succeeding, between mundane and enjoyable, between arriving every day or needing to stay away. They are the central piece I cannot live without, and the anchor that grounds me on the daily. I am blessed to work in a building where people in various position are held in high regard. And perhaps it is just my perception, but I also believe I work in a place where each person is valued for their contributions made to the larger picture; whether from a place of perceived power and popularity, or from behind the scenes where names are only known by those in close contact. 

Last year I had the honor of leading our Sunshine Club, a voluntary club made up of anyone in the building who chooses to join. The club provides a means for us to be intentional about getting together to share time, encouraging one another and supporting the building goals. We celebrate babies born to staff and grieve with those who lost family members. Throughout the year we also focus our attention on different people and positions based on the calendar "holidays" such as "Boss's Day" and "Teacher Appreciation Week". Since I am not so great at knowing and remembering the various dates associated with celebrating positions, I regretfully but not surprisingly, missed our Nurse's Day, Support Staff Appreciation Day and Administrative Appreciation Day. (Good thing this is not an elected position! haha!) This meant we would be correcting my oversight in three consecutive weeks of celebration of these imperative positions. I tell you this because I was amazed that the enthusiasm with which folks dove into the first celebration did not waiver by the last. It was apparent that those who hold various positions in our building are valued for the talents they share and the love they exude, and folks were excited to celebrate them with fervor and appreciation. This is a blessing!

I think sometimes we attach value based on a price tag. Those who make the most money are considered more important than those who make the least. Other times we see value based on the most visual. Those who are seen and heard most often or loudest are considered more important than those who work behind the scenes. Then there are times where power denotes importance, and those in positions of authority are valued more than those who lead by silent example. I would dare to say that we each might hold a bit of entitlement in our hearts in terms of those with whom we do this awesome work. Afterall, it's their job, right? They're getting paid just like you and me, so of course they need to do their part. OK, maybe entitlement is too strong, but I do think that it is our human tendency to get comfortable with what we have. We adapt to our surroundings and expect to have what has always been. As the new school year approaches, it is a good time to turn that taking-for-granted into gratitude and appreciation. We should stand in wonder and awe at the amazing people who work together to change the world, and we should aspire to tell them how much they mean to us! When the building opens in for the new school year, every single position is necessary for our students to experience the full potential of our work. It's worth repeating so as to remember, we are changing lives, people! And there is not one of us that could do it alone! And there is not one of us who is not needed!

Think about it:

as powerful as it is, all the sun in the world can't grow a plant without soil and water

flames cook food but seasonings make it delectable

gas or electricity make a car move, but the nuts and bolts hold it together

Someone once called me the analogy queen, so I will stop there, but you get the idea. No one works in isolation when working in education. Everything that happens relies on a conglomeration and contrived convergence of parts and actions with explicit purposes toward the end goal. We need our teachers, yes. But we also need EVERY OTHER person working with our children!  Every single person has a purpose toward the goal of education. Do those with whom you spend your days changing the world know how much they are valued? Do you know how valuable you are? With two weeks to go on our way to school, consider ways that you show others their value, and ways other have shown you. We are about to jump in to do the most important work in our world! I want to jump in holding hands with those I will count on for the next ten months, letting them feel my positive vibe, helping them know they can count on me for anything, and letting them know the appreciation I hold for each one of them in my heart.

In case you missed:

On Our Way to School, Part 1: Creating Expectations

On Our Way to School, Part 2: Create Personal Habits Now

On Our Way to School, Part 2: Create Personal Habits Now

Ahhh..., August as a Teacher

That's "Ahhh...", eyelids lowered, soaking in the sunshine... 

                                not "AHHHH!!!!", eyes wide, exuding panic 

"Ahhh..., I am refreshed and excited..."

                                 not "AHHHH!!! how can this be happening???"  

That's right. I am a teacher who will go back to the classroom in September, and I am relaxed and ready to use this time to make my school year better than ever! I remember the first time I saw that little quote that circulates this time of year on social media indicating that August to a teacher is like one long Sunday night. I recall simultaneously chuckling and cringing as my understanding clicked in. The panic, the dread, the anticipation of my me-time being over. That was years ago, and since then I have contemplated the anticipatory dread vs. the incredible wisdom of this quote. I have decided that this year I want to do things differently. This year instead of lamenting the ending of summer, (or the end of each weekend on Sunday night), I want to use these eves as eves are intended to be used; to get ready, to get pumped, to prepare myself, and to celebrate what is on my horizon.

It is said that it takes about three weeks for a habit to form. Aren't we lucky then, that that is exactly how much time we have before the start of the new school year? The teaching life is a life that is wrought with transitions. As a lover of routine, this can be exceptionally challenging and a source of angst. Don't get me wrong! I appreciate and enjoy the breaks! What it means for someone like me though, is that I must figure out how to make a routine of the transitions. I need to be planful, even as I let loose and relinquish all schedules and routines. As such, I have planned to use the next three weeks to establish three healthy routines that I hope to maintain once my life involves the school schedule again. Want to join me? Let's go!

Routine #1: Make a habit of hobbies and Heart Work

Let's begin with something fun. I think of it as our Heart-Work. Look around your home at the belongings you have amassed that make you happy. What do you enjoy doing? What is it that you will be sorry to not have the time to do once school begins again? Has your guitar gathered dust? Have your running shoes become complacent in the same corner for weeks, or months? That gym membership you keep paying, stack of books you want to read, knitting needles stuck in that ball of yarn, you get the idea.  What is it that brings you joy but you have neglected due to lack of time? Now is the time! Begin today to reacquaint yourself with those things you love and those hobbies that bring you joy. Decide on a timeframe that you would like to spend doing your heart-work, and commit to that now, while you have the time. This way, when school begins, you will have carved out ways to include your hobbies in your daily life. There is no reason why we need to give up what brings our heart joy when we go back to school. 

Routine #2: Make a habit of healthy habits

I don't know about you, but for me as school starts I tend to eat whatever is on hand, neglect any exercise routine, and struggle to get to bed early enough to rejuvenate my body. Each school year, I eventually get into a better way of keeping myself healthy, but those first weeks are disastrous. This year, I hope to get myself on a good track now so that in September I will merely need to maintain, rather than begin again. What is it about treating your body and mind with care and compassion that is hardest for you? Is it getting enough sleep? Eating foods that benefit your body? Avoiding detrimental foods? Exercising enough? What? What holds you back from helping your body to serve you well and feel great? Whatever it is, now is the time to build some healthy habits that will follow you into the school year. If August is one long Sunday night, then let's use that time to decide how we want to enter the school year with healthy resting, eating and exercising habits. Something I toy with yearly is starting some type of walking club for our building...and this would lead me to Routine #3, which is a little more personal.

Routine #3: Make a habit of reaching outward

Many educators are introverts when it comes to adult relationships, even though they are driven to be around children and derive energy from classroom/educational interactions. Well OK, maybe it's just me, but I know that I don't spend enough time interacting with the adults in my vicinity, and so one final habit that I want to hone as we approach this new schoolyear is adult interacting. Here's the thing. I am the first one to secretly leave notes, little gifts and lift-you-ups around the building where I work. I LOVE to do this...stealthily; without being detected and certainly without interrupting the precious time of others. I do the same thing in my home and in my neighborhood. And so, my final attempt to create a habit before school begins will come in the form of making connections...true face-to-face connections...as I spread my messages of encouragement and support. This one will present the most challenge for me. In fact, I didn't even acknowledge it as a-work-in-progress until recently when I planned to make a gift for someone that I had all intentions of dropping off stealthily. Without knowing it, my friend made me realize the extent of my tendency when he suggested I come to see his new school building. Suddenly, instead of being able to just drop-and-go, I was going to have to interact. Ultimately, this was a gift. The visit was heartfelt and rejuvenating. It made me aware of my need to create more opportunities for these types of connections.

In what ways will you challenge yourself to build routines before the school year begins? Maybe the universality of Routines #1 and #2 above speak to you. These are habits that we all can benefit from creating. Or maybe you have something unique to you, like my Routine #3. Taking time to care for ourselves is imperative to our happiness. Taking time to care for each other has benefits as well!  Please consider taking a moment to share your healthy habits and ways that you incorporate into your life, those activities that bring you good health and abundant joy. You can certainly comment here, or you can go back to the posting where you found this link, and share your ideas there. We can all grow when we are watered with ideas and connections! Let's celebrate August as we should celebrate every Sunday night during the school year, as the eves they are, with anticipation of all the awesome that is about to come our way!

Did you miss last week's posting, On Our Way to School, Part 1? Find it here: Creating Expectations

On Our Way to School, Part 1: Creating Expectations

Over the next four posts, we will travel together toward the new school year. Those readers already in the midst of a school year, have no fear...these ideas are timeless and worthy of our constant attention and consideration. These interactive and intertwined reading adventures will help us become more aware of the power we have to energize our interactions with all those we are blessed to encounter. I have high expectations for these posts, and why wouldn't I? Afterall, imagine if I had low...I mean, bummer low...expectations? Or imagine if I came at this with the mindset that this is going to fail miserably, and you are going to leave this post and never visit my blog again. My writing would undoubtedly be drab and boring. The expectations that I set would certainly be met, and I would walk away, with my head hanging low, feeling that I knew as much would happen, so why did I even bother to try. In the future, I would resist writing another blog...Wow...that just took a turn!

Lucky for you, as a ridiculous optimist, I hold high expectations that I intend to have reached! My expectation is that whomever reads the following words will want to remember them, take notes and maybe even pass the link along to someone else who might benefit from being part of this discussion. I also expect that you will have fun while you read, see a bit of yourself within my words, and perhaps find yourself quietly exclaiming, "I never thought of that!" or "Wow, that's exactly what I believe!" My absolute favorite would be if your mind takes you to wonderful places that help you to create a haven in your classroom or home where children can flourish and grow more exuberantly than they even did in the past!

Expectations: those not-yet-realized hopes and beliefs we have, are incredibly powerful. Expectations set us up for future success, and pave the way for those we teach. Read that again...please...so that you understand how advantageous or detrimental our expectations are in terms of our interactions with others. The people around us will live up to our expectations, therefore we should not expect to get more from them than we expect; AND, we should be sure to expect from them what we are willing to accept. An example that comes to mind is the parent who frustratingly counts, "One...Two...Three..." for their child to decide to acquiesce. I for one could not accept my children listening to my directive after a count of three. Why would I? And the truth is, those parents also want their children to listen immediately...but they have lowered their expectation instead of teaching their child to reach higher. How will that go in a dangerous situation when immediate response is needed? But that's another post. For this one, let's just decide that the expectations we set, now in the comfort and relaxation of summer, when we are not distracted by the reality that children bring into the classroom, are the ones we will hold them to...the ones we will expect them to grow to reach. And they will, if we are steadfast!

To be sure, we cannot control the actions of others. We all know that. Our colleagues and students have their own ways of acting and doing things. But we can influence how they will choose to act around us. My expectation is that my classroom, and even just the space around my physical being, is a place of peace, safety, kindness and calm. As such, when anyone is around me, I expect them to feel my presence and to not attempt to change my aura at all. My expectations are high, and they are intended to be met. Period.

What expectations do you have for the upcoming schoolyear? Do not spend the next weeks immersed in dread of what is to come or it will be difficult to have your energy create expectations that will breathe life into your teaching. Let your energy be the excited energy that brings great expectations and new ideas. Writing that line just made me think of the book, Great Expectations. At one time I know it was required reading, but I'm not so sure I spent a lot of time doing what I was supposed to do at that time (sheepish eyeroll inserted as a current teacher of Language Arts), so I just looked up, "Why does Great Expectations have that title?" Look what I found!

"Pip’s desire for self-improvement is the main source of the novel’s title: because he believes in the possibility of advancement in life, he has 'great expectations' about his future." (Sparknotes said that...) 

How awesome is that for us right now?!?!  We, like Pip, should spend our energy over the next few weeks, desiring self-improvement and believing in the possibilities of creating a wonderful place of learning where we and our students will want to be. We can only expect children to feel as good as the vibe we create in our building and classroom. If we set our expectations to a level of greatness, that is where we shall meet our students over the months that follow. NEVER should we alter our expectations because of the actions of others. If we spend this summer time building the expectation within ourselves, then we will be in a position to offer it to others, and we will be resistant to anyone causing us to lower our expectations. Will our students immediately meet those expectations? Probably not. But we must be patient in order for them to grow to reach them. How wonderful it will be to spend the school year in a classroom that is built upon the belief that everyone can grow to reach as high as our expectations!

Thank You for Reading My Mind: Post #100

My ending slide of just about any presentation or professional learning workshop I offer invites attendees to "Read My Mind at donnamacc@blogspot.com". When you join me here, it is with the intention to literally do just that...read my mind. For one hundred posts at In My Spare Time, you have been reading my mind, and for that, I want to sincerely thank you! Thank you for being here. This milestone post, while to many who write regularly is just a drop in the bucket, represents more to me than most readers realize. For 100 posts I have wrestled with my thoughts, considered how others will receive what I have to say, and been gentle with the feelings of my readers, all while conveying something I felt was worth the time of anyone who came here to read. 

Anyone who knows me in the physical realm, knows that I don't talk much, and certainly not for the sheer experience of talking. In fact, my joy comes more from listening, organizing my thoughts and sitting with them. Why? There are a few reasons this characteristic is part of my nature. I think the strongest drive is that my other-aware-ness does not wish to take up airwaves that others need. Others have a need to talk and to be heard. I don't have that need on a regular basis. I am quite happy keeping my thoughts to myself, with the trust that in a group of people, eventually someone else will say what needs to be said, and can then claim the ownership of the ideas I had swimming around in my mind.

In My Spare Time was born from the notion that I had things to say, but I didn't want to force them on anyone. One of my cherished educational mentors who is the principal of my school and appreciates my contemplative nature will sometimes note that she knows I will send my thoughts to her in written form after a meeting. It is true. In the midst of a meeting, I do not feel the need to take other people's time in order to say what I am thinking. Others with whom I have worked for years will often make a point to ask me to voice my thoughts after all cards of an issue have been shown, because they know I will otherwise avoid speak up on the spot. 

I really don't mean to be mysterious! I certainly don't mean to draw this additional attention, in fact that is the last thing I want! My silence is purposeful, but I know it is not always the best avenue to take. It is a matter of comfort and lack of confidence. First of all, I cannot think on my feet. I need to ruminate and conjure up the words to express my thoughts. I also like to allow myself the time to think of various sides of an issue before responding. Perspective is not something I wish to verbalize when it is only one-dimensional. But taking the time to think of other dimensions does not produce immediate results. My mind needs time to consider varying points of view before my voice wants to chime in.

One thing that has stuck with me is a comment made by a professor in my Master's program when we first met as a class. She said, and I know the exact words because I wrote them down, "Please speak from your heart and share your thoughts. No one is judging your delivery and we expect that the words you use will be unpolished and raw." That was permission to do exactly what I so often struggle to do in real time. During that class, I tried! I would turn to those words and conjure up the courage to share my raw and unpolished thoughts. It worked there in that class, but when I try to get to the same verbal comfort level at a work meeting, for example, or even at home during discussions, the permission falls flat. Those situations seem much more important and permanent. Words said will be words remembered and regurgitated. Once spoken, they can come back to heal or to haunt. Their importance is too daunting to just be tossed around willy-nilly. And so I write.

Here I am writing my thoughts. Knowing that you are all here reading because you actually want to hear what I have to say, not because I am forcing you to listen. Knowing that I have weighed the words deliberately, balancing their message with care and concern for your hearts. Knowing that I have considered varying ideas and perspectives, relaying the message that my thoughts are not more important, more pertinent or more true than those of others. I have not come here to spew, force or pressure, but rather to shed light, suggest and share. That is my comfort. And anyone here reading my mind and sharing my thoughts with me is welcome and cherished. If only three people read these words, I will know they read them of their own volition. Thank you!

A Loss for Us All: Teen Suicide and the Need for Your Heart Vibes

There are staggering statistics that can be shown to depict the devastation of teen suicide. You and I can easily find those numbers and try to imagine our way into awareness. The fact is, numbers like that; stats and figures, only lend themselves to the unfathomability of the tragedy. Philosophy has coined the phrase "hyperobject" to depict numbers and realities so immense, so abominable, that we cannot wrap our minds around them. The consequence is indifference to outcomes. Examples include fast fashion, environmental abuse, human trafficking and global starvation. We read about them, watch news about them, and go about our lives as though we cannot do anything about them. 

Our community's summer started with another loss of teen life to the hands of suicide. This young man, whose age is planted between that of my two youngest children, took his life last week, just as the emptiness of summer loomed. His loss of life is not lost on this mom-heart, and so here I am to say out loud what I hope others are feeling and thinking. These children are not a statistic to be tossed around as a hyperobject that is unattainable and unintelligible. These are our children who are hurting and suffering a sense of non-existence, non-purpose, non-importance, severe destitution, whatever you want to call it...they need us. I am not trying to pretend to know what could have helped this young man. I am sure and certain that his family and friends loved him dearly and wanted to spend the rest of their lives doing so...with him by their sides. I also do not pretend to understand their devastation. What I want is for those of us still walking this earth to understand and hold in our hearts the care and love of each individual we encounter. 

No encounter is unimportant. No amount of time you spend with anyone is frivolous. I like to imagine that our hearts have invisible but energetic vibes that reach out to the hearts of others with unexplainable power and passion. I often tell people that I will be "sending positive vibes" when they have a challenge to face or when they are being called to live the mundanity of everyday life. My heart reaches out and connects in ways I don't always understand, but I know it happens because I can feel the energy being sent; the energy necessary to fuel all that my heart has to give. Your heart has the same power. We all do, so don't think you are immune, and please, don't keep it in! We need to connect and we need to care. Care for each other, care for our families, care for those we love and those we don't, care for the waitress, the cashier and the landscaper, everyone...E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. with whom you share this journey. Your heart vibes can be the string of hope that someone needs. It's not unfathomable, its just a consequence of humanity.

This young man's family and friends have set up a "Go Fund Me' page that I would like to share with you. Their hope is to create a memorial bench in the lake community where Michael lived, where he spread his heart vibes and where his family will undoubtedly find him as they travel the rest of their lives without his physical presence, but carrying his heart vibes in theirs. Please consider joining me in helping them feel that we are "sending positive vibes" in this time of great loss.

https://gofund.me/9f4133c7

Flexibility and Flowers

Maybe it's my nature to want to care for living creatures, and with parenting moving toward enjoying the emerging adulthood of my children more than in finding ways to keep them from personal destruction, I've found that I am bringing more and more plants and flowers into my home and yard. With the new variety that surrounds me, I have needed to research and learn varying approaches to caring for these new additions. It never needed to occur to me that plant care is more than just "don't forget to water". Some plants need a lot of water all at once, then days of non-watering while others need consistent water, but not a deluge at any one time. Some plants need full sunshine while others require shade, and still others thrive in a balance of the two. Then there's the soil, the ph, the fertilizer, the container, etc...you get the picture. There is a lot more involved than my ignorance knew. Yes, I have had to research, but I have also had to relax my mind into accepting that there are many different ways to care for plants, and unless I am willing to change my "one-size-fits-all" attitude, I will have a lot of wilting and withering on my hands. 

Flexibility in thinking is challenging for many of us. Admitting we don’t know things is often even harder. My friend and I shared breakfast this morning before she was going to be stretched...at a stretching place…called Stretch-lab...by a Flexologist.  Having never heard of such a thing, I asked for an explanation, and could not help but see the relationship between flexibility as our physical need and flexibility as our mental need. My friend goes to be stretched and this has helped her to alleviate other physical ailments, as well as reduced her physical discomfort. By moving her muscles and joints in new ways that she would not be able to do on her own, the Flexologist is making a positive impact on her life. 

How great would it be if this service were available for our mental state?!? Who stretches your thinking? Who removes your one-size-fits-all mental attitude? Who makes sure that you move from knowing only one way to care for, respond to or relate to plants (or family, or work) to accepting various ways depending on the species, the people and the situation? How much happier would we all be if we allowed our mind to be stretched and flexible in tolerating and maybe even accepting varying points of view, decisions, methods and paths? So often we remain content within a safe space where others all think as we do. We cultivate only geraniums when there are Zinnias and Roses and fields of other possibilities, if only we are willing to be flexible and learn about them and what they need in order to not wither and wilt. 

Summer is a great time to let go of our rigidity and consider that there are different ways to encounter our world. Consider this a message from our Mental Flexologist: Your/My way is not the only way. Our point of view is not everyone's point of view. Our path is not everyone's path. Let's open our minds to being stretched and experiencing flexibility to see what others see, and maybe even try to understand why they see it that way. Our gardens will be a plethora of color and possibility, as our mental flexibility increases. 

Faith is sliding your foot into your slipper...

...knowing how much centipedes like small, dark places.

What is something you have complete faith in? The kind of faith that would make you stand steadfast even in a barrage of discontent or discord. 

Faith...true unwavering faith...is not borne from habit or experience. And this kind of faith is not easily found or held. It holds on even in the face of contradictory experiences and outcomes. It bounces back from setbacks and rebounds from regret.

As an educator or parent, did you ever stop to think how much faith you have in your world and surroundings? Your faith is immense! Your faith in the world...the people around you...the systems to which you contribute, is there and serving you even on the days you feel the most doubt. It is the children in your life who prove it. Let's take a look.

Questioning our faith in things is a natural side effect of human intellect. Basically, we question because we know too much. When I watch my dogs exude excitement each morning even before food is presented or poured, it is evident that they have faith that I will deliver their next meal. The busyness of squirrels in my yard indicates their faith that the abundance of the earth will provide for their needs as well as the needs of their new babies. We all have faith each morning that the sun will rise, so much so that we rarely, if ever consider its possible absence. Some might call these indicators of faith, taking things for granted. And while that might own a certain extent of truth, I like to think that it is our faith that allows us to take for granted that with which are endowed. How then, does this translate to education and our work with children?

For this conversation, we need to go back to the title of this post. That slipper...those gardening gloves that sat dormant all winter just inviting a spider to nest, even the shirt you plan to don this morning after reading this post...they all have the potential to be harborers of critters that will scare the bejeebers out of you. But you will slide your foot in each morning hardly contemplating the possible inhabitants, pull on those gardening gloves without considering nesting spiders, and duck your head into that shirt as you get ready for your day, assuming it is only you inside the material. Why? What gave you the faith to not peek into your slipper, shake out that shirt or dump those gloves?

You're probably expecting me to give you an answer to this litany of questions, but I honestly don't have answers today. I too blindly throw on these items without a care in the world. And I approach each day as though it will be amazing for me and those with whom I share it. Am I just naïve? Perhaps that is it. I really don't care much about the answer as to how I have such faith. I just enjoy the freedom that comes with believing in the good and positive path of this journey called life.

I will answer my first question, however. And I challenge you to do the same.

What is something you have complete faith in?

I have faith in my fellow human beings. I believe that each human being has the capacity for kindness and love. As I sit with some children who are challenged to absorb or exude kindness, I hold such love for them and the potential they contain, that my faith in them as human beings is unwavering. Is it the challenge that I like? Probably. I mean, one does not need to light a candle whose flame burns bright...but the one that has yet to be lit. But both candles have potential to bring light to our world, and the same can be said for all children. Perhaps children who have yet to find their happiness enough to be kind to others are that dark slipper. Just as I blindly slide my foot in, I optimistically insert myself in those dark places where children hide their vulnerability and soft spots. I wiggle around and test it out, waiting to see that once again, the slipper is safe, the children actually want to be loved, happy, joyful and kind. They just need someone with faith in their goodness to come along and test it out, despite the likelihood of refusal, rejection and shattered attempts looming in the dark spaces. 

Tribute and Advice to Substitute Teachers

Perhaps it's because I know we can't live without them, or maybe it's because my son has recently become one, but either way I feel the need to write a little tribute to substitute teachers. I mean, let's face it, they get a bad rap. In a culture where teachers are generally undervalued, substitutes come in as our replacements, and rarely is there much said in their honor.  This is a grave mistake on everyone's part!  These people come in cold, get their direction on paper that they are then asked to relay to a classroom full of students, put themselves at the mercy of little kids, preteens and teenagers who are empowered by the absence of their regular teacher. I don't know about you, but to me, substitute teaching is like being a waiter or waitress. Everyone should have to do it for at least 6 months at some point early in their lifetime. Once they did their shift, folks would never again feel emboldened to talk of those in the profession quite the same way. 

So, in honor of substitute teachers, and in an effort to help them do their job better so that all can benefit, I thought it would be fun and helpful to write up a little list to help anyone who braves the classroom as one of these interim teachers. I have found myself lately watching our subs and trying to help them where I can. There are some tools that I try to pass along to help them with their craft. Really, when they are confident and do their job well, everyone benefits! Here is my list...what can you add?

Dear Substitute/Interim Teachers: 

1. When you enter the room, please put your name on the board.  YOU MATTER!  Your name makes you relatable and just a little more familiar. Also, it is an acceptance symbol to have your name grace the walls. Chances are that the students have their names throughout the room, on notebooks, desks, bulletin boards, etc...for today, you are part of the family.  Own it! Make the space yours and let the students know who you are.

2. Even if you are soft spoken, use your "I am here!" voice. Then wait a little before trying again.  Chances are that if you are a surprise, the students will be a little wound up.  It's OK. Just go around and maybe ask individuals to give their attention, then use your "I am here!" voice again. They will get it.  They play school every day.

3. Remember, even the kid who might not be able to give you full attention or respect is loved by someone at home. These are people who matter...treat them with kindness and respect. I promise you, it will pay off. Show a genuine interest in them and in their presence at school today. Let them know you are not only here to dole out assignments, but to help them and share this beautiful day with them. 

4. Please be present to the people in the room! Once they get started, wander the room, weaving in and out of desks and groups. Talk to them. Stay off your phone! Try to do some of the work with them. Maybe read something together instead of having them all work alone. 

5. Leave notes about exceptional behavior for the teacher. If this teacher is one of the good ones, they will care to know the parts of your time with their students that stood out.  The misbehavior should be shared but so should the good behavior. Let them know what you enjoyed about your time with their students. Make them feel lucky to be back in the room and to have this school year with this particular group of human beings.

6. Reach out!  If you are struggling or just have a question, find a buddy. Really, try to get to school early and find a buddy before the day even begins! You don't have to feel alone. The building is full of people who do this job every day. They want you to succeed because they want kids to succeed. Ask your questions. Give compliments to others. This job is all about community and communication.

7. The getting in early is worth mentioning again. Isn't having a productive day worth fifteen minutes? Please don't walk in right at the last minute! Get to school at least ten to fifteen minutes before you are actually on the clock. This extra time will help you prepare for the day and will make all the difference in how the day and you coincide and work to be the best you can both be for the students in your class. 

You, Dear Substitute, have a difficult but imperative role in our schools. Don't let anyone undermine the job you are tasked to complete. We want you to be here. We need you to be here. We know it is hard work and you don't always get to feel appreciated by the students. We appreciate you!

Please leave comments that we can add to help the substitutes feel successful and joyful in their work! Perhaps we can compile our ideas into a list to be posted in the main office, substitute sign-in page or even given out to substitutes as they retrieve their badge at the beginning of each shift they offer to serve in our schools.