Bold and Brash...SpongeBob Wisdom for Educators

Ah, good ole' Bold and Brash. Anyone know the artist? Anyone even know where this beautiful masterpiece originated? Some of you already know and are perhaps giggling a little. By the end of this short collection of words, you will all know the artist and the story behind the connection to the current state of education. For now, know that you are looking at the artwork that hangs alone, adorned with masking tape not tacks or nails, on my dining room wall. On days when I need a reminder to be Bold and Brash, I set up my laptop to capture this image while I am on my "Zoom" calls with fellow staff or with students. It helps me to remember to smile, and to remember who I am at my core. 

Teachers, administrators and all those involved in education, it is time for you to step up and be Bold and Brash. Now I know some of you might be questioning my use of the word brash and incredulous at my suggestion that as educators we should adopt such a stance. But this week, and actually in bits and pieces as the summer moved along, I have seen my colleagues accept attacks on their profession, their judgement and their integrity. I have seen strong men and women feeling the sting of those they serve turning against them. And I have wondered in my mind, 'Why are you listening to those people? Why are you letting their judgement affect your heart? You are stronger than that! You know your heart!" My thoughts go on and on, and in the end, what I want to scream is that "It is time to be strong in your stance! It is time to have courage in your convictions! It is time, my friends, to be BOLD AND BRASH!"

You see, Bold and Brash is Squidward's creation. He is proud of it. He thinks it is precious and priceless. He believes it is a work of art. In the scene that inspired my children's dining room artwork, Squidward proudly proclaims to an art critic, "I call it, Bold and Brash" to which the critic replies, "More like belongs in the trash.", prompting the custodian to declare, "I must have missed that one." as he takes it and throws it in his receptacle. (Watch the 11 seconds here, if you'd like a chuckle.) Later in the episode, however, SpongeBob finds it and rescues it for his friend. You see, SpongeBob is unwavering in his loyalty to his friend. He believes in the talent Squidward claims to possess. And in his eyes, from his perspective, he wants to be more like his friend. 

As workers in a service profession, we are in the business of working for all types of people. Much like nurses, doctors and all service workers, we serve everyone and anyone who comes along our path. Teachers though, we take it a step further. We take a classroom of 20, 25, 30 personalities, and work our magic to help them become a family. We invite them into our lives and encourage them to bring along their parents and caregivers. As such, we open ourselves up to all levels of scrutiny and feedback. Stop for a moment and consider the many lenses through which we are viewed throughout our days. This is an awesome responsibility when you pause to think about it! The wonder is not in that these various people have different ways of interpreting and digesting the current state of our educational system, but that they ever got along to begin with! 

And then comes a pandemic...stripping you of your ability to continue to serve in the same capacity. YOU didn't change. Your desire to serve didn't change. Your convictions didn't change. Your love for your students, their parents and your craft didn't change...You are still YOU! The circumstances in which you are functioning, however, those have changed, tremendously.

 

PAUSE.....When are you most yourself?  Embrace that and visualize it right now. Close your eyes and envision yourself fully in your element, at your best, when you are most proud of all that you do and feel the best about sharing your talents.  Hold onto it, because now is the time you learn to defend it! 

Listen, I am never an advocate of being anything but kind. In fact, most people close to me will tell you that I am kind to a fault, extending grace beyond normal limits, even to those who may no longer deserve it. And this declaration is no different. Kindness now is more important than ever, but we must also be unwavering and clear. This is the defending of the very blood that runs through the veins of the educator. This is standing up, not only for ourselves, but for our students and what we know to be the best for them and their families. 

It is not time to be meek. It is time to be BOLD and BRASH!!! 

Don't you dare let others tell you that you are less than you are just because you, as they, are living through a pandemic. A PANDEMIC, for Pete's sake!!!  Bold and Brash! Be Bold and Brash! Stand up for that person you envisioned and all that that person does for others. Be the person you envisioned so that you can continue to positively influence others. Your students and their parents, even when they might be throwing vitriol and venomous opinions your way, need you to be Bold and Brash! They, like you, are scared and broken by the current state of our world. So you must be the strength and clarity. Hold yourself to the highest of standards that you always have. In the end, Bold and Brash will be rescued and revered for having lead those we serve through this tough time to a better place. 

Ever Since the Pandemic, My Laptop Says the Nicest Things

"I'm going to miss you."

---The voice came from my laptop, the screen of which was filled with the big eyes of a beautiful boy from Kenya, one of my Grade 4 Extended School Year students. 

"Miss, you are such nice teacher." 

---That voice also came from my laptop, the screen of which was filled with the beautiful face of a Pakistani child new to our country, one of my Grade 7 Summer Destination students.

"This is just not enough time with you. I look forward to it every day and then when you are here it goes too fast."

---Laptop again relaying the message of an ESL child with whom I was blessed to share my summer months using math and Language Arts as our excuse to form a relationship.

Why do I share this with you? Because quite simply and honestly these moments illustrate how the angst of our hearts can be quelled by the sentiments of beautiful children who are anything but unaffected by our on-screen demeanor. This is validation. This is what we all need to know and keep in mind as we head into the new school year, parts of which will be spent behind a mask, and the other parts behind a keyboard.

Teachers are a unique breed of people who define their professional lives by the touch and feel and emotion of relationship. As the school year begins, we will soon head into a new dimension of our work where the touch and proximity with which we relate to our students will be monitored and/or completely denied. Think about it, even doctors who by their nature spend intimate time with patients, are only with them for a short period of time. 

But teachers? 

                                No, not us. 

We sign up for 181 days, sight unseen. We adopt a roster which includes the names of people whom we do not know, but yet commit to love and cherish for the upcoming school-year and beyond. 

So don't be fooled! 

                                        Be inspired! 

This year, though unlike any other, is calling you to be the same as always, in a different way. 

• Be the same lover of children, the one who just can't get enough of being around them. 
• Be the same sweet, kind, caring person to whom your students know they can turn. 
• Be the same smile, the same voice of reason and compassion and the same passionate planter of seeds, whether academic, social or emotional. 

I believe we can create in our students the same level of love and relationship regardless of the guidelines that will dictate HOW we do so. We've Got This!!! 

Might Not be a Good Day to Tape the Faucet Spout

To be honest, I don't even remember the incident all that well, but my children do.  It was the day they learned from me that there is a time and a place for humor. They didn't learn because of anything I said or any lesson I decided to teach them. This incident perfectly illustrates how much of our parenting happens, the good and the bad, without our deliberate action. 

It had been a particularly difficult day, Easter Day on which we had guests who had joined us for dinner. It also happened to be April Fools day, a day during which I do not generally participate in the antics. To top it off, the way our school calendar was set up, we would return to the classroom the next day, and so the stresses were getting to me. After sharing dinner and wishing our guests a good evening, I was ready to clean up and haul my tired butt off to bed. 

If the kids were here to tell the story, they would pause here for effect, pointing out that from this point forward, it was as if everything moved in slow motion. 

I reached for the sponge and a crusty baking pan, then turned on the tap before they could react. They were frozen, not knowing whether to call out or run for the hills when the faucet spout that was covered with tape to surprise a sibling, instead began spraying me and my exhausted self. I was numb. I just walked away crying. There was nothing more I could do. I felt terrible because the kids were silent, except for the small, meek, "I'm sorry, mom." I ended up apologizing to the kids for breaking down, even though it was not done intentionally or to cause them discomfort. But the fact remains that in the end, without any words of correction, the lesson they learned was a valuable one of taking care of those we love, being aware of what others are experiencing, and of course, the timing of the yuk.   

Being in tune with what others are experiencing before acting or opening our mouths has become not only more important these days, but also a bit easier in some ways. We are all experiencing an incredibly stressful and anxiety producing state of the world. Even those who believe COVID is a hoax and racism is non-existent are caught in the midst of a time when the big picture lacks serenity and peace. Although we all are in the throes of the same experience, the myriad of perceptions makes it challenging to believe "We Are All In This Together". I believe at times such as these, it is all the more important to step back. Look around. Are you taping the spout? Have you considered the consequences of that action? How about the consequences of your words? Is it possible that the best thing you can do right now is to stop needing to go for the laugh, the change of opinion, the need to be right?

That incident was a little over two years ago, but the kids still talk about it. They learned from it, and from watching me melt down. It was legendary. It was memorable. It was a family moment. To some of them, at the time it was downright scary. Fast forward to today. Four of my five children are now in their teens, and one thing is still certain. There are days when the tape on the faucet is funny, and days when it can put someone right over the edge. We cannot control when things will happen, and we cannot control how others will react, but what we can do, is step back, look at the big picture and consider the feelings of others and the consequences of what we are about to do. 

Megaphone Announcement: PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE SCREEN

Today I had news/opinion overload. In the end, I came to this conclusion: We really don't need so many articles or to spend our time on Social Media in order to know what is right and safe for our individual and family needs. And so, imagine that I am standing with a megaphone and speaking very clearly...slowly...to not be misunderstood at all: "FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE SCREEN" and give yourself a moment to listen to your heart and your mind (but not until after you finish reading this, wink-wink). There, and only there, will you find your inner peace and sense-of-self; that little bit of you that knows just what is right for you and those you love.  Your gut, so to speak. You don't need others to tell you who you are...especially others who have no idea who you are....so STEP AWAY FROM THE SCREEN and give yourself the time and grace to remember where your heart is planted.

When we were all sent home back in March, we relied on our screens to help us stay connected and informed. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not a screen person.  My home has internet connection but no cable or regular television access. We have only one TV. It sits in our living room until the occasion when it is moved into one of the kids' rooms if, for example, the girls want to have a sob-story-marathon and Max and I don't want to be witnesses to the tears and drama. I've had folks walk in to see the empty TV stand and wonder if I finally went off the deep end and ditched the thing. All that to paint the picture for you of me in March, reading from my screen as much as I could in order to stay connected and informed in our tumultuous world. We all were doing the same thing, becoming a captive audience to an assembly line of information, mostly dire news, telling us what we needed to know in order to survive the pandemic that had taken over our planet.

Fast forward to July, four months later. How are you doing with curating the amount of news available for your perusal?  Are you back to discerning what you allow into your brain and keeping out that which will do nothing but breed panic? You see, as a captive audience, we allowed ourselves to become victim to the unending factory-style produced 'news' that our screens are designed to deliver. 

This is not good. 

This is not healthy. 

And it is time to take ownership of the control over what we allow into our minds and into our homes. Imagine, if you will, that the screen did not exist, and the only way for you to get information was to allow the original person who wrote it to come into your home to inform you. Would you allow the fools, the attackers and those with whom you know you will feel only anger and dissent? Perhaps you would invite one, just for frame of reference and to ensure you are open to hearing all sides, but I doubt you would allow the barrage of negative-message-senders that you are inviting onto your devices. It is time to stop allowing ourselves to be subject to information overload. I suggest we need to designate time for information intake. Next we need to designate time to discern and study the information we gathered. Then and only then can we let the information marinate in our minds so that we can think for ourselves. You have a mind that just might have answers we all need, but it can only get to the point of lucid thinking when you allow it to stop being attacked by the ridiculous amount of information provided by your screen. 

And so, one final time, I implore you...PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE SCREEN...you'll be surprised at what you will find when you give your mind and heart the freedom to be yours again.

Our Co-Workers Need Us-and so we parent

Remember being a teen and having your first job? What was the job? What were your hours and your wages? Were your co-workers memorable? Do you remember being trained, commended or let go? Chances are good that, depending on your age, that job was twenty, thirty, forty years ago, and those little details have long since left the nest of your brain. But one thing that I think most of us will recall of our teen-worker mind is that feeling of, "Well, I'll try this job, but if I don't like it, I can always find another."  So if there was a tough boss or a co-worker who rubbed us the wrong way, we knew it was an interim job that we could easily leave in order to find other gainful employment.

Over the course of remote learning, it became a fun and common social media practice to refer to your children as co-workers, and report what your "co-workers" were doing at any given time. Some quips were cute: "My co-worker is asking for candy. It's 8am."  Others were funny: "My co-worker is hiding under his blanket because he doesn't want to go on his Zoom meeting." And for me, each co-worker report was a reminder that parenting is a non-stop, non-quittable and always memorable state of work.

Yes, parenting is a job...but even more-so, parenting is a verb; an action word. You see, if it were a job in the true sense of the word, you would get paid, you would get time off, and you would have the option to quit at any time in order to look for other gainful employment. Ever wish you could quit your job as parent? Hell, some days I even wish I would get fired! However, that is not the reality. The reality is that we can totally screw this up today, but tomorrow we will need to wake up and get right back into it, figuring out the way to make things right and better and livable. 

As funny and endearing as the co-worker stories were intended to be, and as much as they were not a reflection of our true position as parent, here is one aspect that I do think works well in describing our current adult role. Just as when you were younger, or even in your present employment position, you could not and should not take the blame or the credit for the actions of your co-workers. Might you be the mentor and the teacher they have to help them learn this thing called living? Yes, of course. That is in your job description. But nowhere does it say that while they are honing their humanity skills, when they fail or succeed, you get the consequence or the bonus. The repercussions and the glory belong solely to your co-workers for the job they are doing. So let go...in all ways...and watch them take what you've taught, apply it and learn from it.

You see, whenever your journey with your co-workers began, whether 2 months, 2 years, or 20 years ago, you were strapped in for the good and the treacherous.  You were signed on to work this position for the rest of your life. You were also chosen especially for this task with each co-worker with whom you are blessed to share this life. You were not given pre-service training. You were not given a manual with answers to apply at each new turn. You were not given wages or a vacation schedule. You were given a title, Mother or Father. You were given a gift. And you were given a heart which is endless in its capacity to love through the toughest of times. We cannot decide how our co-workers will apply what we have to share and we cannot predict the outcomes of their actions. We must go about this job with integrity and unconditional love, hoping we are doing things correctly and not screwing up too much. We have co-workers who rely on us for every need in the beginning and then those needs change as time goes on. There is no set formula or rules and regulations. We are not called to perfection of parenting, but perfection of love. Our co-workers need us, and so we parent. 

Words and Phrases that say, "Notice me...Live me..."

Sometimes words float into my head and then proceed to float right back out. Other times, they sit and roost, begging to be entertained for a long visit, bringing with them a "notice me... live me..." kind of attitude. The following paragraphs each begin with a phrase that has been perched on my brain for some time, resurrected intermittently by events we've all been living. I would like to share the phrases, along with questions I ask myself, so that you too, might invite them in for a little conversation, contemplation and mindful interpretation. I'd love to know if any of them say to you, "Notice me...Live me..."

Living in fear does not protect you. Worry does not protect you. Living in worry and fear is not really living at all. When worry and fear start to guide my days, I know it is time to step back and assess. What exactly is the basis for the worry? What is bringing fear to the forefront of my mind? Without fail, whatever the catalyst for either, the debilitating effect is unproductive and unhealthy. Our world offers much to fuel the flames of worry and fear, but when I go in the direction of entertaining either, I forget that my purpose on this planet is to live, to the fullest of my potential. I cannot do that when I am afraid to be around people, or when by avoiding others, I refuse to notice the service I am called to perform. Our calling, vocation and purpose do not change because life has become more difficult to manage. When I allow worry and fear to guide my life, I am not fully living my "me". What are you called to do? How can you do that with fervor, even in the face of circumstances that fuel worry and fear?

I can be happy and at peace while still being safe and cautious. At various moments over the past few months, our world arrived at a point where being happy and at peace was difficult to muster. While approaching shopping one day, mask in place, I smiled at a young man who was wiping down carts and thanked him for working to keep us all safe. I could not see his mouth, but the smile that came through in his eyes was enough to stop me in my tracks. I proceeded to ask him to smile at everyone in that way as they entered the store so that they can feel the happiness and peace that his smile brought to me even in the midst of this newly stressful situation of 'regular' shopping. That exchange brought to the forefront of my mind the first line of this paragraph. Go ahead and reread it. I am often accused of not taking things seriously enough because I am at peace with the turmoil. My ability to find happiness and peace is not a bad thing. It is a gift and a trait I work diligently to hone, even in adverse situations. Imagine a world where more of us could live as the young man with the beautifully smiling eyes so adeptly did, and pass peace along to others.

Happiness is not ignorance; it is the complete acceptance of our lack of control and willingness to continue forward anyway. That's right! Happiness has nothing to do with being clueless. Quite the opposite! I know the famous saying goes, "Ignorance is bliss." And while those who are ignorant might enjoy a certain level of bliss in not knowing what is amiss in their surroundings, this is not true happiness. The bliss this quote speaks of is merely a band-aid that can be ripped off to expose a source of misery at any second. Imagine you are in your home, totally oblivious to the vandals outside just waiting for the moment to break in. You are feeling bliss...but it will not be long lasting. True happiness exists only by knowing exactly what we are up against, accepting our position and role, and moving forward with full knowledge of possible consequences. 

I challenge you to let these words take root in your mind for some mindful moments. Maybe a phrase per day for a few days. I was deliberately vague in most of my presentations of these phrases in hopes that you might find circumstances in your own life where the words can come to life, whispering or screaming, whatever your preference, "Notice me...Live me..."

Sharing My Conundrum (Gotta love that word!)

My most recent post was made on Memorial Day...perhaps that was the last time I felt that my mind could wrap itself around a topic without wincing and feeling irreconcilably inadequate. While I have voiced to many people why I have taken a leave from posting, I feel it would be most responsible of me to let you, the folks who tend to enjoy my musings, know where I've been and why. Let's see if I can put words to the reasons in such a way that help me to more easily make my way back to the keyboard that I've so tremendously missed! But, like a child cautiously dipping his toe to test the waters, I fear the consequences of any path I take in this tenuous environment.

The brokenness of our society and world is heartbreaking. That is not news to anyone choosing to live and breathe. Even my children, young as they are in the scheme of things, can understand that living in community on this planet can be challenging on a good day and downright petrifying on another type of day. We have much work to do...this is not novel information. And although many might not like to hear it, much of the work needs to be done on each of our individual hearts in order to foster the wisdom and courage to go out into the world and create the change that is necessary for humanity to be human again. 

And therein lies my absence. While I feel completely unable to voice anything worthwhile or new in this culture of commentary-oversaturation, I also feel that to write about frivolities in the form of, for example, metaphors between my dog and life, is to diminish the enormity of our world's present state of turmoil. I mean, does it really matter that I write about how I cried at the end of our school year when people are feeling hatred and loathing for and from others on a daily basis? I really don't know.

And so, where does this leave me and my writing? I am not sure. I am here, so that is a step. I cannot allow a full month to go by before sharing new writing, so that is telling. I've a long list of frivolity that is waiting for words and is sure to bring smiles. I've a longer list of deep-rooted messages that I've been told need to be shared. And I've fear of penning either route. 

With all of that out on the table, I will move past my fear and insecurity to come back to the keyboard. I welcome any and all points of view to be voiced back to me...even if mostly through personal emails and messages. Anyone who knows me well, knows that it is never my intention to be anything but kind. A good friend, without realizing it, gave me the boost I needed when he said, "I'd never call you a jerk." Ha! It's the little things...but with my reputation for kindness preceding me, I will move forward. Thank you to those who have reached out to see where I have been. (My favorite message: "Long time no read.") Thank you for living this life with me. Thank you for reading and thank you for being. Not sure what the next words will be, but whatever path is chosen, it's a comfort to know we will be hashing it out together.  See you in a few days!