Just before Winter Break I had each of my students do one final task. It was a task that I thought would take only a few minutes so I saved it for the final days, nonchalantly throwing it in between discussion about our One Word selections and final check-ins regarding completed novels and Social Studies chapters. However in the moments following the instruction, "Put your address on the front of this envelope.", it became increasingly clear that I had wandered into something that needed much more attention and time. Questions were flying to determine the front, what goes into the address, where it is to be located and why it must be legible. There were many more questions, and the final product was not produced until a demonstration ensued and many corrections were endured. In the end, on my trip to Boston I had the envelopes ready for their journey. Upon our return to school students had stories to tell of receiving their mail over the break.
The revelation of my students' lack of knowledge that most of us as adults take for granted got me thinking. What other important things do we assume they know, or do we think they should know, when really they are lacking the knowledge necessary to perform the task? One item that immediately comes to mind has been the focus of my school's book study this year. In Lost at School, the premise is that student misbehavior is simply an indication that they do not know a better way to behave in certain circumstances.
Hear that again...students do not choose to do the wrong thing. They are lacking the skills necessary to do the right thing.
What do you think? Can you accept this as truth? I know it is a tough one, but imagine with me what would happen to our strategies for dealing with misbehavior if we accept this one truth: "Children misbehave when they do not have the skills to do differently."
I do not wish to say much more about this, though I do invite you to read the book by Ross W. Greene, PhD. Much of what he has to say challenges us to really look at student behavior with new lenses, lenses that do not assume children know something just because we think they should. In the next few days I implore you to consider the concept as you encounter your students. As their misbehavior invites interaction, take inventory of your inner thoughts. Are you accusing them of deliberately choosing to do wrong? Do you truly believe that if they knew how to do things the right way, they would still choose misbehavior? Try to imagine how differently their day would go if they were given new skills instead of punishments, a redirection instead of a reprimand and a hug to model kindness instead of a nasty remark for their indiscretions.
A friend suggested that a grade be assigned based on the arrival of each student envelope to its destination, but that's not really what this exercise was about...not this time around anyway. This time around, we celebrated that we learned something we didn't even know we didn't know. It is true that our envelopes were not masterpieces of perfection, but with a little understanding, modeling and perhaps special attention from the post office, each one made it to its destination with a loving thought to proud students from a grateful teacher.
