Anyone who knows me well, knows that my mind works in metaphors. I have spent about a week attempting to find the metaphor for the life we are presently experiencing, and I just can't seem to find one that works well to bring the present situation into focus. But this morning as I sat down to write, I was struck with the beauty of my reality so much that the need for a metaphor just flew out the window. I realized, there is no metaphor because there is nothing, N-O-T-H-I-N-G, to compare to what is in my heart and mind these days. Instead of a metaphor, I need to just take a look at the journey and all the blessings that have been here teaching me how to live this moment right now. And so, I invite you to come on this path with me today. See where your life fits in with mine, and maybe we can find a joke or a metaphor or a punchline for living life that will take hold and sustain us.
First, the Five Kids:
When I sat down at my laptop to write this morning, it became clear that my daughter was playing a trick on me...much like her older sister did as they left for their dad's on Friday...here's that one.
But this trick is a little different and perfect for today's thoughts. You see, my computer screen is totally flipped upside down.
OK, so first, typing upside down isn't so hard. It was challenging to initially set myself up since the tabs are all at the bottom and my arrow doesn't follow my typical hand motions, but all-in-all, typing is the same. Also, after so many years in the classroom and as a mom, I am adept at reading upside down, so that is not bothering me at all. But the corrections, the backspace vs. delete, and the arrows to get from one spot to another are all very challenging.
Why?
Well, I can only think that perhaps the parts of typing that have been most engrained, you know, the habits and the natural parts of the process, are clearly something I can do regardless of the changed circumstances. The same holds true for life today. I can easily do my normal 'me': find people who need my help and reach out to them, make dinners or help with schoolwork, because that's what I do every day regardless. I can even go for my run, read and write. But there are other things that are extremely challenging. Talking with folks on-line instead of in person, presenting my information to my communication impaired students through limited means and going through the stores with my smile covered by a facemask, are all causing me pause and stress. Those are the backspace and delete buttons, the ones that seem impossible for my brain to accept in this new upside down world. And that's OK. I don't need to accept and perfect these parts of this new world's imperfection. I just need to learn to best cope and accept that I will stumble. When up is down and down is up; when left is right and right is left; we are sure to stumble...but we should not be afraid to keep at it and keep figuring out how to work within the life we have.
Next, a Baby
If you don't know the story of Matthew, I will attach it here. Matthew's Story. Matthew was a foster baby that joined our family for almost two years, then went to live with his adoptive family in Washington State, where he passed away about a year and a half later. Our present circumstances have brought memories of life with this beautiful boy to my mind quite often for various reasons. But the one I wish to mention here is when someone once suggested that I had wasted time with this broken boy when could I have spent my time fostering a healthy child who would someday make a difference. Some saw Matthew for his imminent early death. I saw him for all he had to offer in his beautiful life. They saw the despair. I saw the hope. The recollection of that moment, and the grace with which I was able to answer that comment, comes to me whenever I am put into circumstances that to others seem impossible. The difference today is that my circumstances and those of most around me are the same. We are all in the same boat. However, I believe our abilities to accept and appreciate our circumstances are different. Some of us are only able to see the storm for its ensuing destruction. Some only saw Matthew as a broken boy with nothing more to offer. I look at our present situation, as I looked at Matthew, and I see the potential. I see the peace and the quiet. I see the future changed by the present. And, as such, I see the hope.
Finally, a Puppy
And that brings us to the puppy...not the one you met here back in July, but the one you are about to meet now. Yes, in the midst of all this, the Maccaronis have invited another puppy to join the mix. Why? For all the reasons I just described. Because my laptop is upside down and I need to adjust. Because Matthew was a sign of hope, not despair. And because in the midst of life right now, in a house full of teens experiencing grief and loss, we needed a little chaos. Not just the chaos of a day or a week, but the chaos of life and hope.
And so, maybe no metaphor today 😁 (haha!) and the jokes are all on me, but here is my version of a punchline. Five Kids, a baby and a puppy walked into my life...and with them came so much more than anyone could ever ask to have. And, so, I was filled with hope.
