Of the many workshops I've presented in the past, all were delivered over the safety nets of other people's research and other people's thoughts. I would read a few books or study the experiences of a couple educators, then deliver the knowledge I had garnered and happily give credit to the authors. No risks taken, no feeling of vulnerability. But in this week's sessions, I shared my findings and my ideas. For the first time my family, my parenting and my ways of managing my day to day teacher-life were the research; the topics that spurred conversation in the group. The new feeling in my heart was a mixture of panic and euphoria. We were having discussions based on how I "survive with grace", and I realized that the descriptions of these experiences might actually help to guide others. That is huge!
In the end, I was also struck by what it was I had to share. I had made the slideshow, but in presenting it to others reality set in. I had wanted my message to be truthful and genuine. But what the pictures and stories depicted is that my life is utterly crazy! Good crazy, but crazy just the same. As I prepared my slides, I wanted participants to know that what I had shared was one hundred percent my story, my life, and filled with possibilities for them. I openly displayed my struggles and my victories; my unique home and my Balance Goals. And even with all of that, it wasn't until I heard what went on in my household during my absence, that I really was able to piece together what it was that I learned while presenting on Thursday. Yes, what I learned.
If I can paint the picture well enough, you will understand why I relinquish all credit from Thursday's presentation to the true authors, my children. My session, prepared with vignettes from my home and my life was entitled, "Finding Balance in the Midst of Real Life". Twice I guided folks through the life I share with my children, what I do to make it work, and how I find my balance. It all sounds so...so...picturesque, right? "My five children, no my five angels, carrying me through motherhood on their perfectly synchronized wings." Even as I described it, it sounded surreal. The participants and I spoke of plans, and we spoke of plans needing adjustment. We discussed unpredictability, kids taking humorous jabs at one another, kids helping each other, and how goals change as life marches along. We spoke about accepting life as it is. I am so grateful that I painted a realistic picture, because upon my return, I heard this story...
My day at Professional Development
While My Children Were Home
...a story in three parts.
While My Children Were Home
...a story in three parts.
- In the morning, my good friend arrived with doughnuts for the children. The children were awake and they shared a nice morning of talking. But the lesson in this part of the story is in the doughnuts. Ever since they were small, if we got doughnuts I would cut them into halves or quarters in case more than one child wanted the same kind. My children know that having a 'full' doughnut rarely means one full round cake. Sometimes it was two halves, sometimes quarters were involved. And so, as my friend tells it, she watched in amazement on Thursday morning as the children cut each doughnut in order to share. To top it off, she was further amazed that some of them went for an apple after eating one half of a treat. Who does that? They were demonstrating the very sharing attitude that I was talking about when I presented our chores chart, and the wellness atmosphere of keeping our bodies physically well.
- Next came the afternoon when I did not have a scheduled adult to check in on the crew. That is when a "humongous" bee decided to take the welcome mat seriously and enter the house. As my girls tell the story, they proceeded to run out of the front door while screaming for their older brother to get the bee. He was unsure what to do, but the next time they looked into the house, he was wearing a winter hat and brandishing a badminton racket. To them it appeared he was swinging wildly but in time, their big brother came out of the house victorious...the bee stunned not dead, laying on the racket. They were demonstrating how I spoke of them looking out for one another and helping when needed.
- And finally, part three of the story came to me as I entered our bathroom in the evening. My oldest daughter, tired of reminding her siblings to shut the light, had made a sign for the light switch while I was out. "Turn off the light, Thank you." Surprisingly she didn't sign it, "The Management". I had just spent time showing photos of my home, the many signs around the house declaring how lucky we are to have a small house, our job charts, our three month planning calendar on our dining room wall, and homemade birthday cards, one that says, "Hey Mom, We know you'll make the best of your birthday no matter what happens...you always do." Signs around our house that not only remind us of various events and dates, but signs that in essence say, "We are filled with love", "I care about us", "I believe in you". That one new sign taped next to the light switch while I was presenting, was an additional reminder that we are here to care about one another and beyond.
Yes, I'll make the best of anything that comes my way. It is my optimistic nature. And what I learned while at PD on Thursday is that my kids will do the same. It was a strong reminder that children will mirror and learn whatever we most often put in front of them. A reminder that we must consistently choose our words, our actions and our paths wisely. Our children are watching, soaking it in. Do right by them long enough, and when you are not there to guide them, they will still cut the doughnuts, eat an apple instead, save each other from vicious bees and guide one another's actions with loving kindness. The fact is, my children deserve the credit I received for writing Thursday's presentation. They were the authors this time and I was relaying their message to the workshop participants. I stated repeatedly that it is possible to achieve balance and peace in the midst of life's noise and they proved me right.
