Before I share what he said, please reflect with me: What do you hope others have to say when they comment on time spent with you? What words do you imagine being uttered by your students as they talk with their friends or family about how you make them feel? Not just the studious students, but also the ones that challenge you the most. How about your co-workers? What impact does your presence in school have on your peers? While we are at it, consider the check-out clerk at the supermarket, the mail carrier, your neighborhood neighbors...do they experience anything noteworthy when they share a moment with you? Every chance we are given in the company of others matters, and the comments made by others are crafted by the way they feel after spending time in your presence.
The comment this young man made was, "You remind me of Ms. ***. She was my fifth grade teacher and she was always kind to me even when I was doing things that should have made her mad."
Now I won't tell you the teacher's name but I will tell you that this woman is someone I look up to and admire for her teaching prowess, her beautiful nature, her love of every child, and her acceptance of children even in their toughest of moments. When this student shared his impression of her and compared me to her, it was an incredible compliment bestowed on me. And if I were to answer the questions above, it fits perfectly when I consider how I hope people feel when they leave me : that I was kind, loving, non-judgmental and unconditionally in their court.
Finally, this topic invites one more important set of questions: Assuming others keep such a folder of positive thoughts, how often do you appear in their folders as an author? How often have you taken the time to put your thoughts on paper for someone else? You know the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say..."? I like to finish that with, "you aren't paying attention." Every day folks around you are making a difference in big and small ways. Take time to notice and then let them know they touched your heart.
With our minds focused on others, I believe we will take every possible opportunity to speak the admiration that is in our hearts. Be intentional about being the person you want others to experience and be deliberate about noticing the beauty in those around you. Make it impossible for folks to refrain from positive comments and find it impossible to keep in what you notice about others.
"Expressing love and kindness to others benefits them and roots us in our own happiness.",
-Sakyong Mipham, Running With the Mind of Meditation
