"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."
Noise is inevitable. There will be noise. Defining the noise and realizing how to hold on to the right noise is the key to balance. I'm going to bring you back about 14 years when my two oldest children (now 17 and 16) were 3 and 2. In order to do some of my bookkeeping work from home I had a computer and the internet put into my house. This seemed like a great idea and I was excited to have the computer at home to help me feel more connected to the outside world as I fumbled with diapers and baby food. And it was a great idea, until I started to get frustrated with my children for all the "interruptions" to my work. I found myself displaying short tempered behavior that belied my usual patience. It seemed that every time I booted up that machine my two children started to need me more. As soon as my attention went to the screen, they would begin to cry, fuss or fight. Next I would get annoyed and feel that their interruptions were an intrusion. But the truth is, they were doing exactly what a 3 and 2 year old were supposed to be doing, and they certainly were not doing anything they hadn't done before the computer came to invade our world. The computer was the intruder...it had upset the balance I needed in order to be the parent I wanted to be. I can still remember the moment I was struck with the realization. The computer was gone and the internet was canceled the next day.
I remind myself of that story when I feel frustrated with any lack of balance. Now there are older children to whom I devote my days. There is also a teaching job with more children to love. When I am feeling short tempered I pause and take inventory. Am I trying to hold onto things that just don't fit in my life? I have made a list of items that I call my "Balance Goals". Those goals include my mental, emotional and physical wellness, my children and parenting, my professional endeavors and teaching, and my extended family. All are equally important and in an ever-changing preferential order depending on what life is sending in my direction. But when something is frustrating me by presenting as an intrusion, I take time to check to see if it fits into any of my Balance Goals. If it does then I try to discern how I can make it more symbiotic in my life. If it does not, then it probably needs to go and I figure out how to make that happen.
My Balance Goals are unique to me. They are a changing, living, contract I have made with myself. Yours will be unique to you. If you base your Balance Goals on all the parts of your life that are most important to you, these ambitions will help to guide you toward a sense of fullness, contentment and peace. I must warn you, when you find that you are expending your energy on something that does not fit into your goals, you might need to dig deep in order to let it go. It is not easy to give up the internet and computer, or whatever your unique intrusion might be, even when you see that it is negatively effecting those things that are most important to you. At times you will justify your desires, try to hold on to those very things that you need to let go, and sometimes even refuse to do so.
