On Our Way to School, Part 3: Valuing Each Other, Changing the World Together!

When you consider your job, whether you are in education or not, what are aspects of your work system that you could not live without? Caffeine? Chocolate? That little heater under your desk in the winter? Various tools that make your job easier and keep you organized? The list is likely to be lengthy and would cover all the pieces that make your work and tasks manageable and maybe even enjoyable. 

For me, of all the possible aspects, the people with whom I work make the difference between failing and succeeding, between mundane and enjoyable, between arriving every day or needing to stay away. They are the central piece I cannot live without, and the anchor that grounds me on the daily. I am blessed to work in a building where people in various position are held in high regard. And perhaps it is just my perception, but I also believe I work in a place where each person is valued for their contributions made to the larger picture; whether from a place of perceived power and popularity, or from behind the scenes where names are only known by those in close contact. 

Last year I had the honor of leading our Sunshine Club, a voluntary club made up of anyone in the building who chooses to join. The club provides a means for us to be intentional about getting together to share time, encouraging one another and supporting the building goals. We celebrate babies born to staff and grieve with those who lost family members. Throughout the year we also focus our attention on different people and positions based on the calendar "holidays" such as "Boss's Day" and "Teacher Appreciation Week". Since I am not so great at knowing and remembering the various dates associated with celebrating positions, I regretfully but not surprisingly, missed our Nurse's Day, Support Staff Appreciation Day and Administrative Appreciation Day. (Good thing this is not an elected position! haha!) This meant we would be correcting my oversight in three consecutive weeks of celebration of these imperative positions. I tell you this because I was amazed that the enthusiasm with which folks dove into the first celebration did not waiver by the last. It was apparent that those who hold various positions in our building are valued for the talents they share and the love they exude, and folks were excited to celebrate them with fervor and appreciation. This is a blessing!

I think sometimes we attach value based on a price tag. Those who make the most money are considered more important than those who make the least. Other times we see value based on the most visual. Those who are seen and heard most often or loudest are considered more important than those who work behind the scenes. Then there are times where power denotes importance, and those in positions of authority are valued more than those who lead by silent example. I would dare to say that we each might hold a bit of entitlement in our hearts in terms of those with whom we do this awesome work. Afterall, it's their job, right? They're getting paid just like you and me, so of course they need to do their part. OK, maybe entitlement is too strong, but I do think that it is our human tendency to get comfortable with what we have. We adapt to our surroundings and expect to have what has always been. As the new school year approaches, it is a good time to turn that taking-for-granted into gratitude and appreciation. We should stand in wonder and awe at the amazing people who work together to change the world, and we should aspire to tell them how much they mean to us! When the building opens in for the new school year, every single position is necessary for our students to experience the full potential of our work. It's worth repeating so as to remember, we are changing lives, people! And there is not one of us that could do it alone! And there is not one of us who is not needed!

Think about it:

as powerful as it is, all the sun in the world can't grow a plant without soil and water

flames cook food but seasonings make it delectable

gas or electricity make a car move, but the nuts and bolts hold it together

Someone once called me the analogy queen, so I will stop there, but you get the idea. No one works in isolation when working in education. Everything that happens relies on a conglomeration and contrived convergence of parts and actions with explicit purposes toward the end goal. We need our teachers, yes. But we also need EVERY OTHER person working with our children!  Every single person has a purpose toward the goal of education. Do those with whom you spend your days changing the world know how much they are valued? Do you know how valuable you are? With two weeks to go on our way to school, consider ways that you show others their value, and ways other have shown you. We are about to jump in to do the most important work in our world! I want to jump in holding hands with those I will count on for the next ten months, letting them feel my positive vibe, helping them know they can count on me for anything, and letting them know the appreciation I hold for each one of them in my heart.

In case you missed:

On Our Way to School, Part 1: Creating Expectations

On Our Way to School, Part 2: Create Personal Habits Now

On Our Way to School, Part 2: Create Personal Habits Now

Ahhh..., August as a Teacher

That's "Ahhh...", eyelids lowered, soaking in the sunshine... 

                                not "AHHHH!!!!", eyes wide, exuding panic 

"Ahhh..., I am refreshed and excited..."

                                 not "AHHHH!!! how can this be happening???"  

That's right. I am a teacher who will go back to the classroom in September, and I am relaxed and ready to use this time to make my school year better than ever! I remember the first time I saw that little quote that circulates this time of year on social media indicating that August to a teacher is like one long Sunday night. I recall simultaneously chuckling and cringing as my understanding clicked in. The panic, the dread, the anticipation of my me-time being over. That was years ago, and since then I have contemplated the anticipatory dread vs. the incredible wisdom of this quote. I have decided that this year I want to do things differently. This year instead of lamenting the ending of summer, (or the end of each weekend on Sunday night), I want to use these eves as eves are intended to be used; to get ready, to get pumped, to prepare myself, and to celebrate what is on my horizon.

It is said that it takes about three weeks for a habit to form. Aren't we lucky then, that that is exactly how much time we have before the start of the new school year? The teaching life is a life that is wrought with transitions. As a lover of routine, this can be exceptionally challenging and a source of angst. Don't get me wrong! I appreciate and enjoy the breaks! What it means for someone like me though, is that I must figure out how to make a routine of the transitions. I need to be planful, even as I let loose and relinquish all schedules and routines. As such, I have planned to use the next three weeks to establish three healthy routines that I hope to maintain once my life involves the school schedule again. Want to join me? Let's go!

Routine #1: Make a habit of hobbies and Heart Work

Let's begin with something fun. I think of it as our Heart-Work. Look around your home at the belongings you have amassed that make you happy. What do you enjoy doing? What is it that you will be sorry to not have the time to do once school begins again? Has your guitar gathered dust? Have your running shoes become complacent in the same corner for weeks, or months? That gym membership you keep paying, stack of books you want to read, knitting needles stuck in that ball of yarn, you get the idea.  What is it that brings you joy but you have neglected due to lack of time? Now is the time! Begin today to reacquaint yourself with those things you love and those hobbies that bring you joy. Decide on a timeframe that you would like to spend doing your heart-work, and commit to that now, while you have the time. This way, when school begins, you will have carved out ways to include your hobbies in your daily life. There is no reason why we need to give up what brings our heart joy when we go back to school. 

Routine #2: Make a habit of healthy habits

I don't know about you, but for me as school starts I tend to eat whatever is on hand, neglect any exercise routine, and struggle to get to bed early enough to rejuvenate my body. Each school year, I eventually get into a better way of keeping myself healthy, but those first weeks are disastrous. This year, I hope to get myself on a good track now so that in September I will merely need to maintain, rather than begin again. What is it about treating your body and mind with care and compassion that is hardest for you? Is it getting enough sleep? Eating foods that benefit your body? Avoiding detrimental foods? Exercising enough? What? What holds you back from helping your body to serve you well and feel great? Whatever it is, now is the time to build some healthy habits that will follow you into the school year. If August is one long Sunday night, then let's use that time to decide how we want to enter the school year with healthy resting, eating and exercising habits. Something I toy with yearly is starting some type of walking club for our building...and this would lead me to Routine #3, which is a little more personal.

Routine #3: Make a habit of reaching outward

Many educators are introverts when it comes to adult relationships, even though they are driven to be around children and derive energy from classroom/educational interactions. Well OK, maybe it's just me, but I know that I don't spend enough time interacting with the adults in my vicinity, and so one final habit that I want to hone as we approach this new schoolyear is adult interacting. Here's the thing. I am the first one to secretly leave notes, little gifts and lift-you-ups around the building where I work. I LOVE to do this...stealthily; without being detected and certainly without interrupting the precious time of others. I do the same thing in my home and in my neighborhood. And so, my final attempt to create a habit before school begins will come in the form of making connections...true face-to-face connections...as I spread my messages of encouragement and support. This one will present the most challenge for me. In fact, I didn't even acknowledge it as a-work-in-progress until recently when I planned to make a gift for someone that I had all intentions of dropping off stealthily. Without knowing it, my friend made me realize the extent of my tendency when he suggested I come to see his new school building. Suddenly, instead of being able to just drop-and-go, I was going to have to interact. Ultimately, this was a gift. The visit was heartfelt and rejuvenating. It made me aware of my need to create more opportunities for these types of connections.

In what ways will you challenge yourself to build routines before the school year begins? Maybe the universality of Routines #1 and #2 above speak to you. These are habits that we all can benefit from creating. Or maybe you have something unique to you, like my Routine #3. Taking time to care for ourselves is imperative to our happiness. Taking time to care for each other has benefits as well!  Please consider taking a moment to share your healthy habits and ways that you incorporate into your life, those activities that bring you good health and abundant joy. You can certainly comment here, or you can go back to the posting where you found this link, and share your ideas there. We can all grow when we are watered with ideas and connections! Let's celebrate August as we should celebrate every Sunday night during the school year, as the eves they are, with anticipation of all the awesome that is about to come our way!

Did you miss last week's posting, On Our Way to School, Part 1? Find it here: Creating Expectations

On Our Way to School, Part 1: Creating Expectations

Over the next four posts, we will travel together toward the new school year. Those readers already in the midst of a school year, have no fear...these ideas are timeless and worthy of our constant attention and consideration. These interactive and intertwined reading adventures will help us become more aware of the power we have to energize our interactions with all those we are blessed to encounter. I have high expectations for these posts, and why wouldn't I? Afterall, imagine if I had low...I mean, bummer low...expectations? Or imagine if I came at this with the mindset that this is going to fail miserably, and you are going to leave this post and never visit my blog again. My writing would undoubtedly be drab and boring. The expectations that I set would certainly be met, and I would walk away, with my head hanging low, feeling that I knew as much would happen, so why did I even bother to try. In the future, I would resist writing another blog...Wow...that just took a turn!

Lucky for you, as a ridiculous optimist, I hold high expectations that I intend to have reached! My expectation is that whomever reads the following words will want to remember them, take notes and maybe even pass the link along to someone else who might benefit from being part of this discussion. I also expect that you will have fun while you read, see a bit of yourself within my words, and perhaps find yourself quietly exclaiming, "I never thought of that!" or "Wow, that's exactly what I believe!" My absolute favorite would be if your mind takes you to wonderful places that help you to create a haven in your classroom or home where children can flourish and grow more exuberantly than they even did in the past!

Expectations: those not-yet-realized hopes and beliefs we have, are incredibly powerful. Expectations set us up for future success, and pave the way for those we teach. Read that again...please...so that you understand how advantageous or detrimental our expectations are in terms of our interactions with others. The people around us will live up to our expectations, therefore we should not expect to get more from them than we expect; AND, we should be sure to expect from them what we are willing to accept. An example that comes to mind is the parent who frustratingly counts, "One...Two...Three..." for their child to decide to acquiesce. I for one could not accept my children listening to my directive after a count of three. Why would I? And the truth is, those parents also want their children to listen immediately...but they have lowered their expectation instead of teaching their child to reach higher. How will that go in a dangerous situation when immediate response is needed? But that's another post. For this one, let's just decide that the expectations we set, now in the comfort and relaxation of summer, when we are not distracted by the reality that children bring into the classroom, are the ones we will hold them to...the ones we will expect them to grow to reach. And they will, if we are steadfast!

To be sure, we cannot control the actions of others. We all know that. Our colleagues and students have their own ways of acting and doing things. But we can influence how they will choose to act around us. My expectation is that my classroom, and even just the space around my physical being, is a place of peace, safety, kindness and calm. As such, when anyone is around me, I expect them to feel my presence and to not attempt to change my aura at all. My expectations are high, and they are intended to be met. Period.

What expectations do you have for the upcoming schoolyear? Do not spend the next weeks immersed in dread of what is to come or it will be difficult to have your energy create expectations that will breathe life into your teaching. Let your energy be the excited energy that brings great expectations and new ideas. Writing that line just made me think of the book, Great Expectations. At one time I know it was required reading, but I'm not so sure I spent a lot of time doing what I was supposed to do at that time (sheepish eyeroll inserted as a current teacher of Language Arts), so I just looked up, "Why does Great Expectations have that title?" Look what I found!

"Pip’s desire for self-improvement is the main source of the novel’s title: because he believes in the possibility of advancement in life, he has 'great expectations' about his future." (Sparknotes said that...) 

How awesome is that for us right now?!?!  We, like Pip, should spend our energy over the next few weeks, desiring self-improvement and believing in the possibilities of creating a wonderful place of learning where we and our students will want to be. We can only expect children to feel as good as the vibe we create in our building and classroom. If we set our expectations to a level of greatness, that is where we shall meet our students over the months that follow. NEVER should we alter our expectations because of the actions of others. If we spend this summer time building the expectation within ourselves, then we will be in a position to offer it to others, and we will be resistant to anyone causing us to lower our expectations. Will our students immediately meet those expectations? Probably not. But we must be patient in order for them to grow to reach them. How wonderful it will be to spend the school year in a classroom that is built upon the belief that everyone can grow to reach as high as our expectations!

Thank You for Reading My Mind: Post #100

My ending slide of just about any presentation or professional learning workshop I offer invites attendees to "Read My Mind at donnamacc@blogspot.com". When you join me here, it is with the intention to literally do just that...read my mind. For one hundred posts at In My Spare Time, you have been reading my mind, and for that, I want to sincerely thank you! Thank you for being here. This milestone post, while to many who write regularly is just a drop in the bucket, represents more to me than most readers realize. For 100 posts I have wrestled with my thoughts, considered how others will receive what I have to say, and been gentle with the feelings of my readers, all while conveying something I felt was worth the time of anyone who came here to read. 

Anyone who knows me in the physical realm, knows that I don't talk much, and certainly not for the sheer experience of talking. In fact, my joy comes more from listening, organizing my thoughts and sitting with them. Why? There are a few reasons this characteristic is part of my nature. I think the strongest drive is that my other-aware-ness does not wish to take up airwaves that others need. Others have a need to talk and to be heard. I don't have that need on a regular basis. I am quite happy keeping my thoughts to myself, with the trust that in a group of people, eventually someone else will say what needs to be said, and can then claim the ownership of the ideas I had swimming around in my mind.

In My Spare Time was born from the notion that I had things to say, but I didn't want to force them on anyone. One of my cherished educational mentors who is the principal of my school and appreciates my contemplative nature will sometimes note that she knows I will send my thoughts to her in written form after a meeting. It is true. In the midst of a meeting, I do not feel the need to take other people's time in order to say what I am thinking. Others with whom I have worked for years will often make a point to ask me to voice my thoughts after all cards of an issue have been shown, because they know I will otherwise avoid speak up on the spot. 

I really don't mean to be mysterious! I certainly don't mean to draw this additional attention, in fact that is the last thing I want! My silence is purposeful, but I know it is not always the best avenue to take. It is a matter of comfort and lack of confidence. First of all, I cannot think on my feet. I need to ruminate and conjure up the words to express my thoughts. I also like to allow myself the time to think of various sides of an issue before responding. Perspective is not something I wish to verbalize when it is only one-dimensional. But taking the time to think of other dimensions does not produce immediate results. My mind needs time to consider varying points of view before my voice wants to chime in.

One thing that has stuck with me is a comment made by a professor in my Master's program when we first met as a class. She said, and I know the exact words because I wrote them down, "Please speak from your heart and share your thoughts. No one is judging your delivery and we expect that the words you use will be unpolished and raw." That was permission to do exactly what I so often struggle to do in real time. During that class, I tried! I would turn to those words and conjure up the courage to share my raw and unpolished thoughts. It worked there in that class, but when I try to get to the same verbal comfort level at a work meeting, for example, or even at home during discussions, the permission falls flat. Those situations seem much more important and permanent. Words said will be words remembered and regurgitated. Once spoken, they can come back to heal or to haunt. Their importance is too daunting to just be tossed around willy-nilly. And so I write.

Here I am writing my thoughts. Knowing that you are all here reading because you actually want to hear what I have to say, not because I am forcing you to listen. Knowing that I have weighed the words deliberately, balancing their message with care and concern for your hearts. Knowing that I have considered varying ideas and perspectives, relaying the message that my thoughts are not more important, more pertinent or more true than those of others. I have not come here to spew, force or pressure, but rather to shed light, suggest and share. That is my comfort. And anyone here reading my mind and sharing my thoughts with me is welcome and cherished. If only three people read these words, I will know they read them of their own volition. Thank you!

A Loss for Us All: Teen Suicide and the Need for Your Heart Vibes

There are staggering statistics that can be shown to depict the devastation of teen suicide. You and I can easily find those numbers and try to imagine our way into awareness. The fact is, numbers like that; stats and figures, only lend themselves to the unfathomability of the tragedy. Philosophy has coined the phrase "hyperobject" to depict numbers and realities so immense, so abominable, that we cannot wrap our minds around them. The consequence is indifference to outcomes. Examples include fast fashion, environmental abuse, human trafficking and global starvation. We read about them, watch news about them, and go about our lives as though we cannot do anything about them. 

Our community's summer started with another loss of teen life to the hands of suicide. This young man, whose age is planted between that of my two youngest children, took his life last week, just as the emptiness of summer loomed. His loss of life is not lost on this mom-heart, and so here I am to say out loud what I hope others are feeling and thinking. These children are not a statistic to be tossed around as a hyperobject that is unattainable and unintelligible. These are our children who are hurting and suffering a sense of non-existence, non-purpose, non-importance, severe destitution, whatever you want to call it...they need us. I am not trying to pretend to know what could have helped this young man. I am sure and certain that his family and friends loved him dearly and wanted to spend the rest of their lives doing so...with him by their sides. I also do not pretend to understand their devastation. What I want is for those of us still walking this earth to understand and hold in our hearts the care and love of each individual we encounter. 

No encounter is unimportant. No amount of time you spend with anyone is frivolous. I like to imagine that our hearts have invisible but energetic vibes that reach out to the hearts of others with unexplainable power and passion. I often tell people that I will be "sending positive vibes" when they have a challenge to face or when they are being called to live the mundanity of everyday life. My heart reaches out and connects in ways I don't always understand, but I know it happens because I can feel the energy being sent; the energy necessary to fuel all that my heart has to give. Your heart has the same power. We all do, so don't think you are immune, and please, don't keep it in! We need to connect and we need to care. Care for each other, care for our families, care for those we love and those we don't, care for the waitress, the cashier and the landscaper, everyone...E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. with whom you share this journey. Your heart vibes can be the string of hope that someone needs. It's not unfathomable, its just a consequence of humanity.

This young man's family and friends have set up a "Go Fund Me' page that I would like to share with you. Their hope is to create a memorial bench in the lake community where Michael lived, where he spread his heart vibes and where his family will undoubtedly find him as they travel the rest of their lives without his physical presence, but carrying his heart vibes in theirs. Please consider joining me in helping them feel that we are "sending positive vibes" in this time of great loss.

https://gofund.me/9f4133c7

Flexibility and Flowers

Maybe it's my nature to want to care for living creatures, and with parenting moving toward enjoying the emerging adulthood of my children more than in finding ways to keep them from personal destruction, I've found that I am bringing more and more plants and flowers into my home and yard. With the new variety that surrounds me, I have needed to research and learn varying approaches to caring for these new additions. It never needed to occur to me that plant care is more than just "don't forget to water". Some plants need a lot of water all at once, then days of non-watering while others need consistent water, but not a deluge at any one time. Some plants need full sunshine while others require shade, and still others thrive in a balance of the two. Then there's the soil, the ph, the fertilizer, the container, etc...you get the picture. There is a lot more involved than my ignorance knew. Yes, I have had to research, but I have also had to relax my mind into accepting that there are many different ways to care for plants, and unless I am willing to change my "one-size-fits-all" attitude, I will have a lot of wilting and withering on my hands. 

Flexibility in thinking is challenging for many of us. Admitting we don’t know things is often even harder. My friend and I shared breakfast this morning before she was going to be stretched...at a stretching place…called Stretch-lab...by a Flexologist.  Having never heard of such a thing, I asked for an explanation, and could not help but see the relationship between flexibility as our physical need and flexibility as our mental need. My friend goes to be stretched and this has helped her to alleviate other physical ailments, as well as reduced her physical discomfort. By moving her muscles and joints in new ways that she would not be able to do on her own, the Flexologist is making a positive impact on her life. 

How great would it be if this service were available for our mental state?!? Who stretches your thinking? Who removes your one-size-fits-all mental attitude? Who makes sure that you move from knowing only one way to care for, respond to or relate to plants (or family, or work) to accepting various ways depending on the species, the people and the situation? How much happier would we all be if we allowed our mind to be stretched and flexible in tolerating and maybe even accepting varying points of view, decisions, methods and paths? So often we remain content within a safe space where others all think as we do. We cultivate only geraniums when there are Zinnias and Roses and fields of other possibilities, if only we are willing to be flexible and learn about them and what they need in order to not wither and wilt. 

Summer is a great time to let go of our rigidity and consider that there are different ways to encounter our world. Consider this a message from our Mental Flexologist: Your/My way is not the only way. Our point of view is not everyone's point of view. Our path is not everyone's path. Let's open our minds to being stretched and experiencing flexibility to see what others see, and maybe even try to understand why they see it that way. Our gardens will be a plethora of color and possibility, as our mental flexibility increases. 

Faith is sliding your foot into your slipper...

...knowing how much centipedes like small, dark places.

What is something you have complete faith in? The kind of faith that would make you stand steadfast even in a barrage of discontent or discord. 

Faith...true unwavering faith...is not borne from habit or experience. And this kind of faith is not easily found or held. It holds on even in the face of contradictory experiences and outcomes. It bounces back from setbacks and rebounds from regret.

As an educator or parent, did you ever stop to think how much faith you have in your world and surroundings? Your faith is immense! Your faith in the world...the people around you...the systems to which you contribute, is there and serving you even on the days you feel the most doubt. It is the children in your life who prove it. Let's take a look.

Questioning our faith in things is a natural side effect of human intellect. Basically, we question because we know too much. When I watch my dogs exude excitement each morning even before food is presented or poured, it is evident that they have faith that I will deliver their next meal. The busyness of squirrels in my yard indicates their faith that the abundance of the earth will provide for their needs as well as the needs of their new babies. We all have faith each morning that the sun will rise, so much so that we rarely, if ever consider its possible absence. Some might call these indicators of faith, taking things for granted. And while that might own a certain extent of truth, I like to think that it is our faith that allows us to take for granted that with which are endowed. How then, does this translate to education and our work with children?

For this conversation, we need to go back to the title of this post. That slipper...those gardening gloves that sat dormant all winter just inviting a spider to nest, even the shirt you plan to don this morning after reading this post...they all have the potential to be harborers of critters that will scare the bejeebers out of you. But you will slide your foot in each morning hardly contemplating the possible inhabitants, pull on those gardening gloves without considering nesting spiders, and duck your head into that shirt as you get ready for your day, assuming it is only you inside the material. Why? What gave you the faith to not peek into your slipper, shake out that shirt or dump those gloves?

You're probably expecting me to give you an answer to this litany of questions, but I honestly don't have answers today. I too blindly throw on these items without a care in the world. And I approach each day as though it will be amazing for me and those with whom I share it. Am I just naïve? Perhaps that is it. I really don't care much about the answer as to how I have such faith. I just enjoy the freedom that comes with believing in the good and positive path of this journey called life.

I will answer my first question, however. And I challenge you to do the same.

What is something you have complete faith in?

I have faith in my fellow human beings. I believe that each human being has the capacity for kindness and love. As I sit with some children who are challenged to absorb or exude kindness, I hold such love for them and the potential they contain, that my faith in them as human beings is unwavering. Is it the challenge that I like? Probably. I mean, one does not need to light a candle whose flame burns bright...but the one that has yet to be lit. But both candles have potential to bring light to our world, and the same can be said for all children. Perhaps children who have yet to find their happiness enough to be kind to others are that dark slipper. Just as I blindly slide my foot in, I optimistically insert myself in those dark places where children hide their vulnerability and soft spots. I wiggle around and test it out, waiting to see that once again, the slipper is safe, the children actually want to be loved, happy, joyful and kind. They just need someone with faith in their goodness to come along and test it out, despite the likelihood of refusal, rejection and shattered attempts looming in the dark spaces.