Your mental and physical health and well-being are no less imperative! Why then, in the many discussions on-line or in-person, when the question about wellness arises, are so many of us apt to state that we let self-care and wellness go unattended? At one time I believed that people thought there was honor in putting oneself aside for others. While martyrdom has its place in history, it has no place in our day-to-day life. Think about it, if you were to study history closely, you would find that the defined inevitable outcome for martyrs is death! And while there are a few who still believe living in such a way makes them a better person, I am no longer convinced that most of us push self-care aside to win 'Martyr of the Year'. I believe most people do not view self-care and self-preservation in the same way they view breathing, eating and drinking; as a necessity. Self-care is regarded as a luxury, something unnecessary for survival. This could not be more wrong!
Regardless of our reasons to put our wellness aside, it stops here! Today, at this moment, we make the commitment to do better! But don't worry, I think with a little prompting, you might find that self-care and wellness will be more easily accomplished than previously thought.
Last night I found myself on a blanket, one and half hours from home, experiencing my first ever NightLight Event. I'm embarrassed to admit that my initial intent was to drop my teenage daughter and her friend off and find a mall or restaurant where I could spend a few of the evening hours enjoying 'me time', assuming the event would be a conglomeration of teens. Not knowing the area to which we were headed, I neglected to consider that there would be no such shopping or dining experience to be had within miles of the venue, and so I found myself walking in with the girls, promising not to cramp their style. God truly has a way of waking up my heart on occasion, and last night was like that.
We entered the field, which included more families than teens, and received our wristbands and lanterns. To my surprise and worry, they were also handing out matchbooks and lighters to every attendee! You can imagine the possible tragedies racing through my mind as I watched in wonder, the trust with which the items were freely distributed. There were well over 5,000 people in attendance, each one with two methods by which to light fire.The event was 6.5 hours long, beginning at 4:30 pm and concluding at 11:00 pm. I am grateful to report that there were no casualties or reason for the numerous fire trucks in attendance. For me, the night turned into an evening of spontaneous self-care and wellness that created a joy in my heart that will carry me for days.
With each lantern folks received, they were given a marker with which to write their wishes, hopes and prayers. Two magical things happened for me in terms of the markers/lanterns.
First, mine: When I had finished, I realized that nothing I had written on my lantern was a wish or hope...each was a prayer of gratitude, for my children, people with whom God has allowed me to share my life journey, my work, the deep love I hold in my heart, so many things...but want for nothing! That was not intentional, but in the end, it was revealing.
Second, my daughter: Anna's sixteen year old soul also took the lantern opportunity to do something other than to ask for desires to be fulfilled. While I respected her heart and did not ask to read what she wrote, she voluntarily shared with me that she was using her lantern to write down and "let go of things" with which she struggles.
If that glimpse into our evening is not a definition of spontaneous self-care and wellness, I don't know what else those words could possibly mean. On the exhausting hour and a half ride home, with my daughter and her closest of friends sleeping behind me, I spent miles praying for them, myself and all the people at the event who were representations of what happens when humanity comes together for a common purpose. Hearts were poured out, struggles were released, prayers written, love expressed.
And so, it is with my heart full that I suggest that you look for simple, spontaneous self-care opportunities every day. And if they are not obvious, perhaps you can practice some of these ways to nurture your soul and care for yourself, every single day...no exceptions! It really is that important and here is proof that it could be simple:
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a note to someone you love or care about: and if you are lucky enough to have them respond, it is the best medicine for any mental ailments with which you suffer
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a note to someone newly put on your journey: let them know you are thankful that they are here
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a timer set for three minutes where you sit and relax your body from head to toe while "sitting on a cloud", "laying in the sand", "running up the side of a mountain" or where-ever your peace originates. Imagine the view, the sounds and the calm. (The first song last night's performer sang was one that I use for this kind of mental break, "Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay".) If your thoughts leave that place you've chosen, force them back! The rest of the day will allow you plenty of time to worry about whatever else ails you...those three minutes belong to you and your special place!
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before you step out of the car to go in to get that morning cup of coffee: create a game/goal to smile at five people and perhaps even try to get someone to laugh, or commit to make eye contact and notice the color of five people's eyes...practiced interactions help you connect, think of that person throughout the day and send positive vibes in two directions.
On a side note: Should we be running, exercising, eating right, etc...of course! And guess what...those things will fall into place more easily when your heart and mind are cared for, grateful and happy. By exercising mindful self-care on a daily basis, in simple ways that feed the soul, you will find that you are compelled to care for other aspects of the self.
I am not sure what happens to all those lanterns once they run out of fuel and burn out. They were said to be biodegradable and that brings solace to my "green"-heart. But in the end, it is the words printed on them that will either be let go as in Anna's case, or live on as in mine. If I were to have written a desire, it would be that each of us would find a way to nurture ourselves daily. Please don't let another day go by without caring for yourself in any simple way that you find. I'll be looking for your smile in Wawa, your eye contact and your shared ideas to help one another find simple paths toward wellness.
