My children and I have many traditions surrounding the school year experience. One of them is the end of the year perusal of report cards. In order for you to fully appreciate this annual moment in my family's life, I need to share a few disclaimers.
First, the Maccaroni kids "play" school very well. Though we have our share of struggles throughout the year, overall academic achievement in school is not a difficult task for them, and for that I am grateful. Second, while I do not get daily, weekly or even monthly indicators sent to me from our district's robo-report card generator, surprises on final report cards are rare because I am completely available to teachers and I constantly talk with my children regarding their academics. Finally, I really don't care about grades. Period. If my children are trying to the best of their ability, learning the information, and growing as a self-advocate by asking questions and meeting for extra help, the grade they earn is secondary to the life lessons garnered through the experience. Will colleges and continuing education institutions look at their grades? of course. But my kids are so much more than a letter on a chart. Any college that can't see that is not taking my money to educate my child.
With all that on the table, I believe you might enjoy a glimpse into this past week's final report card perusal at The Maccaroni abode. Since printed report cards are only a memory in our district, on the night report cards were made digitally available to parents, I sat with the kids surrounding me on the couch, (or pacing as is the comfort movement of my son), and opened each document, one-by-one. I sat, first enjoying the picture of each child captured so many months prior. I took a moment to truly look at those cute little faces that were filled with the wonder of an entire school year still ahead of them. I then located the "Final Report Card" grades. After enjoying the process through the first three report cards it hit me: each child's face had changed tremendously, but that wasn't all that had changed. Throughout the year, their minds had grown beyond measure in knowledge and skills. Those camera-ready smiles had disappeared several times as we lived the school-year, often replaced by tears of frustration, or angst, or "I just don't get it!" moments. There had been crying and yelling and struggling. They had lived a full year of school, grown into new and improved versions of themselves, and somehow as a mom I was supposed to be satisfied that this growth was summarized on this final report card in 7 little letters and list of robo-comments.
I will not pursue this topic further here. I bring it up only for you to ruminate on it a bit and formulate your own ideas of why it is so disturbing. But I do have one final thought for you.
In the end, after looking over all the final grades Maccaroni style...perhaps best illustrated by the moment when Anna saw that her best efforts in a challenging class earned what was to her a disappointing "C", and her brother made her smile by exclaiming that it was a "C" for Chemistry, my favorite moment came when Martha sullenly said, "I wish you cared about grades. My friends get paid for A's and B's." Ha! Well, I don't! I watch my children work hard all year. I know when they are giving their studies their best efforts, and I point out to them when they are not. To me, that little letter is just a miniscule tic mark on a tremendous year of growth and development. Our reward as parents is not the grade, but seeing the incredible metamorphosis of the beautiful people entrusted to our care.
